Premieres Wednesday:
The Circle — Season 6 turned on the shocking revelation that one of the contestants was actually a chatbot. Even more delicious twists are promised for Season 7, so I guess we should expect the cast to consist of nine Nigerian princes and a toaster. (Netflix)
Premieres Thursday:
Ángel Di María: Breaking Down the Wall — Follow the triumphant path of the Argentinian soccer great, from working in the coal mines as a kid to becoming one of the best in the world at his chosen sport. Yeah, yeah, but which of those jobs gives you the better chance of meeting some cool-ass dwarves? (Netflix)
Billionaire Island — Title notwithstanding, this isn't a competition show where 1 percenters get offed like characters in an Agatha Christie book. Instead, it's a Norwegian drama series about rival fish farmers. Right, like that's going to make me forget my fantasy of Bill Gates hanging from a volcano while Jeff Bezos stamps on his fingers. (Netflix)
Colin Jost and Michael Che Present: New York After Dark — The asshole buddies of Weekend Update co-host a live stand-up special. Che posted to his IG that neither of them is getting paid, so it sounds like all those years of working for Lorne have finally sunk in. (Peacock)
Emily in Paris — As Season 4 wraps up, we'll learn if there's going to be any blowback to Emily's decision to keep it on the QT that the beauty mask her firm has been hawking is made with K-Y Jelly. Oh, for the days when the worst cosmetic deception women had to endure was soaking their hands in Palmolive. (Netflix)
Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter — A two-part documentary follows Michigander Cindy Tarkanian's quest to solve the mysterious disappearance of a daughter she had put up for adoption 35 years earlier. Pardon me if I sound regressive, but this seems a bit like berating the American Pickers for losing track of the Pogs you sold them back in '02. (Netflix)
Midnight at the Pera Palace — Season 2 of the time-traveling Turkish thriller is set in 1941, where Esra tries to discover the true identity of her family while she's being pursued by the lover she met in 1919. A couple more seasons, and this timeline is going to make even less sense than Marjorie Taylor Greene trying to explain where she was on Jan. 5. (Netflix)
Premieres Friday:
Dora — Season 2 episode titles include "The Floor Is Guava." And if you think I'm going to try to top that with my own joke, you underestimate my deep and abiding respect for Pan-Hispanic peoples. (Paramount+)
The Grand Tour: One for the Road — Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May bid farewell to their 8-year-old series with a special that takes them to Zimbabwe. Knowing Amazon, they'll have to pay extra to come home. (Prime Video)
How to Die Alone — Natasha Rothwell of The White Lotus and Insecure created and stars in this comedy about an airport employee who develops a new zeal for life after a near-death experience. "Near-death" means no Boeing machinery was employed in this production. (Hulu)
In Vogue: The '90s — A transformative decade in fashion is revisited by Vogue editors Hamish Bowles, Edward Enninful, Tonne Goodman and Anna Wintour. The latter's 20/20 hindsight: "Way too much blue." (Hulu)
Officer Black Belt — A master of the martial arts teams up with a probation officer to take down crime before it happens. I'm trying to figure out how a martial artist could prevent crime; maybe by hitting childhood poverty with the can-opener move? (Netflix)
Sector 36 — Aditya Nimbalkar explores the seedier side of Indian society in a thriller that pits a cop against a serial killer to stop the abduction of children from a poor neighborhood. In the last big reveal, we learn the kids were actually shipped off to shuck corn for Sarah Huckabee Sanders. (Netflix)
Uglies — Joey King plays a young woman of the future who rebels against her society's policy of mandatory cosmetic surgery. But not, apparently, against the present-day rule that every third made-for-streaming sci-fi flick has to rip off a second-tier Twilight Zone episode. (Netflix)
Premieres Sunday:
Tulsa King — Season 2 finds Sly Stallone's Dwight defending his ever-growing criminal operation against dangerous rivals. If you believe the behind-the-scenes stories, his ace in the hole is verbal humiliation. (Paramount+)
Premieres Sunday:
Child Star — Demi Lovato interviews the likes of Drew Barrymore, Kenan Thompson, Christina Ricci and JoJo Siwa about the crippling effects of childhood fame. But wait a minute: All of them turned out ... basically OK? Where's the séance with River Phoenix? (Hulu)
Culinary Class Wars — One hundred kitchen pros and novices alike are pitted against each other in what's being called South Korea's first culinary survival show. Up in North Korea, they're prepping an even more dramatic spin on the concept, in which members of the Supreme Leader's family try to make it through breakfast without a taste tester. (Netflix)
Deon Cole: OK, Mister — In his third stand-up special, the comic reveals why Black people who are cheating on their partner tend to gravitate toward white establishments like medieval restaurants. Just please don't tell us Pirates Dinner Adventure has fallen to the Crips. (Netflix)
Live From the Other Side with Tyler Henry — The celebrity medium brings messages from beyond the veil to a different high-profile client every week. Where was he last month, when Scott Peterson really needed him? (Netflix)
Nöthin' but a Good Time: The Uncensored Story of '80s Hair Metal — The 2021 book by Tom Beaujour and Richard Bienstock becomes a three-part docuseries full of firsthand memories of life on the Sunset Strip. To paraphrase Robin Williams, if you can remember those days, you were probably only signed to Atlantic. (Paramount+)
World's Most Notorious Killers — Master criminologists delve into some of history's worst murder sprees, encompassing household names like John Wayne Gacy and Ed Gein as well as lesser lights like Thierry Paulin, the Monster of Montmartre, and Stephen Griffith, the Crossbow Cannibal. Once again, no love for Jeffrey Lee Davis, the Puncturer of Palatka. (Peacock)
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