Premieres Wednesday:
Eva Lasting Season 2 — Back to 1970s Bogotá we go as Eva Samper continues to balance the pros and cons of being the first girl at an all-boy's academy. Pros: You have your pick of dates to the prom. Cons: Not many chances to borrow sanitary products. (Netflix)
Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years Season 2 — Another summer of sleepaway camp allows the 10-year-old SpongeBob to pursue a bunch of new interests, like archeology and ... um ... I was going to say "exploring his sexuality like everybody else does at camp." But could he find anybody to experiment with who's actually sponge-worthy? (Paramount+)
Receiver — Documentary cameras chronicle the 2023 NFL season as experienced by players Davante Adams, Justin Jefferson, George Kittle, Deebo Samuel and Amon-Ra St. Brown. And guess what they have in common? They're all receivers, duh! But give yourself partial credit if you said CTE. (Netflix)
Sunny — After apparently losing her husband and child in an air accident, a grieving Rashida Jones finds unexpected comfort in the helper robot she's inherited. Hey, most women would drive their family off a cliff if they thought they could get a good Roomba out of it. (Apple TV+)
Sugar Rush: The Baking Point — Season 2 has six new pairs of Mexican bakers competing to win 1 million pesos. If you're unfamiliar with foreign exchange rates, that's four bags of Oreos. (Netflix)
Wild Wild Punjab — Four Indian pals embark on a crazy, event-filled road trip, just so one of them can confront his ex at her wedding and tell her off good. This sounds like the kind of movie the cops find on a guy's hard drive after he does something terrible. (Netflix)
Premieres Thursday:
Another Self — Season 2 brings fresh challenges for our trio of introspective Turks as they put down stakes in the seaside town they've made an incubator of their spiritual growth. That's a lot to expect from a seaside town; usually, all I'm looking for is corn dogs. (Netflix)
The Hungry Games: Alaska's Big Bear Challenge — In the world's first "wildlife reality competition," a bunch of Alaskan bears are secretly graded on their success at navigating the hibernation process. The winner has the honor of being shot dead by Ron DeSantis. (Peacock)
MILF of Norway — Newly jobless and dissatisfied in her marriage, a middle-aged Scandinavian is rejuvenated by her unexpected success as an internet porn star. Of course, this only works in Scandinavia. If you want to go viral here, you have to get thrown off your flight for demanding a white pilot. (Max)
Sausage Party: Foodtopia — Most of the original voice cast is back for an eight-episode spinoff from the raunchy animated feature about anthropomorphic foodstuffs. As for all those animators whose names were taken off the movie because they complained about the shitty working conditions, look for their credits on an FDA label in 4-point type, right under the warning against eating uncooked seafood. (Max)
Teen Torture Inc. — The horrors of the "troubled teen" reconditioning industry are exposed by survivors of its profit-driven abuses, including hip-hop star Bhad Bhabie. Not consulted for rebuttal: Christian rapper Ghud Ghirl. (Max)
Vanished Into the Night — An Italian man and his estranged American wife begin to lose their grip on reality after their children are kidnapped and held for a ransom of 150,000 euros. You'd go crazy too if you had to figure out how much that was in stable currency. (Netflix)
Vikings: Valhalla — The legendary saga of Harald Sigurdsson, Leif Eriksson and Freydís Eiríksdóttir sadly comes to a close in Season 3. Fortunately, there's an avatar show coming that'll let you watch them perform "Dancing Queen" until the end of time. (Netflix)
Premieres Friday:
Blame the Game — A German woman gets more than she bargained for when she welcomes the guy she's dating to her traditional game night, and her ex happens to show up as well. Even more uncomfortably, they're playing Risk and both fellas want to annex Poland. (Netflix)
Exploding Kittens — God and Satan prowl the planet disguised as pet cats in an animated show that's only loosely based on the popular card game. But don't you worry, because plenty of stuff still blows up. You think anybody would watch a show called Cards That Feel Pretty A-OK About Humanity? (Netflix)
Lobola Man — A South African marriage negotiator who's relationship-averse himself finds his stance softening after he meets a captivating woman. So who's going to draw up their contract, Jackie Chiles or Elle Woods? (Netflix)
Me — Discovering that he has superpowers only complicates life further for a tween who's already been dealing with more mundane challenges, like growing up in a blended family and being bullied at school. Those used to be the reasons to wish you had superpowers, but we don't teach the value of a good haymaker anymore. (Apple TV+)
Premieres Monday:
Hit-Monkey — Leslie Jones and Cristin Milioti join the voice cast in Season 2, which finds our conflicted antihero hoping that a move to New York will help him carve out a permanent path on the straight and narrow. Sure, just like starting over in Jacksonville will help you kick meth. (Hulu)
Wonderoos — A quintet of CGI animal friends help preschool viewers cope with the anxieties of life, from losing your teddy bear to getting your first vaccination shot. Now if RFK Jr. could just get on the ballot in all 50 states, they'd only have to worry about the teddy bear. (Netflix)
Premieres Tuesday:
Chad Daniels: Empty Nester — The comic/podcaster uses his 10th stand-up special to describe what it's like to have your kids grown up and out of the house. But who takes an entire hour to say "Only marginally less rewarding than never having acknowledged them in the first place?" (Netflix)
Homicide: Los Angeles — The irrepressible Dick Wolf shines a light on some of the most notorious murder cases in the history of the City of Angels. Be hilarious if he finally cleared O.J. (Netflix)
Mafia Spies — Hard-working Orlando actress Rachel Comeau plays alleged JFK/Sam Giancana mistress Judith Exner in a six-part docuseries that shows the CIA and the Chicago mob plotting to take out Fidel Castro at the height of the Cold War. Kind of a shame they didn't succeed, because you don't want to waste Rachel Comeau on just anything. (Paramount+)
