Orlando College students are hooking up with rich older men through sugar-daddy websites. Is it modern romance, or just an easy way to the sweet life?
Published: February 9, 2012
The pressure for a ring in such a short time frame, as well as the woman’s spending habits, led Schneider to call it off. When that arrangement ended, he says, he got involved in another arrangement, this time with a struggling 21-year-old who worked two jobs and had barely enough money to eat.
“She just wanted someone to assist her with her overwhelming bills and debts, and she didn’t want to have sex with some random man for money,” he says. “I was really into her.”
He says this relationship also ended when the woman wanted to get more serious. “She actually gave me an ultimatum,” he says. “‘If you’re not going to be serious with me and meet my family, I can no longer see you.’ I was blown away. … There were no other women, she knew that.”
Although most of his relationships have been intimate, Schneider says, sugar daddies aren’t always just looking for sex. Despite what people may think, he says that for a sugar relationship to work, there has to be some connection between the two parties.
“If it’s solely based on money or if it’s only based on sex, it’s not going to work. There has got to be chemistry,” he says. “In my experience – and most girls will tell you this – it’s hard to be with someone that you’re not attracted to or don’t have chemistry with because there are some things that money cannot buy, such as affection, feelings born out of respect and care and building memories together. These things are more powerful than any kind of monetary things.”
Serena says she can attest to the fact that there has to be some attraction to carry on with a sugar relationship. She says that on her second date as a sugar baby, she went out with a married businessman who just wasn’t her type.
“We emailed and texted for almost two months,” she says. “[My] first impression: a lot less attractive than his picture. He had a good personality, but I just wasn’t attracted to him. We had drinks, dinner and talked for hours in his hotel room. He wanted sex, I declined and he was accepting. I was sent home with dinner, parking paid and a nice wad of cash.”
A typical sugar daddy profile is straightforward: It specifies income level, net worth, monthly allowance (what he’s willing to spend to keep a sugar baby), marital status and expectations – how many times he wants to see his sugar baby and what he expects from her when he does.
A potential sugar relationship – a pot – is similar to dating. During this time, individuals communicate and perhaps meet to see if they have things in common – most notably, intentions regarding allowances, sex and time commitment. The arrangement is unofficial until the baby and daddy come to a mutual agreement.
“The arrangement talk must come before a meeting,” Serena says, “What you’re expecting, wanting, time, money, travel availability, sex, etc. Some men wanted to see me four times a week. I couldn’t commit to that and didn’t waste my time meeting them. Some men are only offering a few hundred [dollars] as an allowance. You have to make sure you want the same things or your lunch date was just a waste. Why go on multiple first dates just to be disappointed?”
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