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All the other hot primary gossip you need to know!

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Shayan Elahi vs. Joe Saunders


House District 49 (DEM): Shayan Elahi vs. Joe Saunders
It's never a party until something gets broken (especially your heart!) but the stewing acrimony between longtime gay-rights organizer Joe Saunders and civil rights attorney Shayan Elahi over this newly drawn House seat out by the University of Central Florida has tossed the liberal vase (er, base) out the window and onto the pool deck. Elahi – with failed Orlando mayoral hopeful Mike Cantone and a gaggle of scruffy occupiers at his back – has been doing his best to cast Saunders as a one-issue Democrat (because he's gay, see, and would be the state's first gay legislator if elected). Saunders, meanwhile, has been quietly laughing all the way to the bank, out-fundraising Elahi in both finance and notice. Saunders has the endorsement of no less than Mayor Buddy Dyer, and when he speaks, he makes you cry. Let's see if that occupy momentum (cough!) can push the slightly more aggro Elahi over the edge.

Orange County Commission District 3: Lui Damiani vs. Eric Lasso
If you were already scratching your head to figure out who Lui Damiani is – he was just appointed to the county commission by the governor in 2010 after Commissioner Mildred Fernandez flipped her financial wig – then surely you're digging in your ears to place the name Eric Lasso. Well, you needn't worry, really, as Lasso is just a pawn of state legislative doughboy, Rep. Chris Dorworth (more dirt on him later!). Dorworth's Floridians for Fiscal Responsibility PAC is backing Lasso in the race with mucho dinero, something that has tickled the ire of schoolmarm Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs, mostly because Dorworth already tried (and failed) to get Jacobs removed from the Expressway Authority because she was wary of its fraudulent ways. Also, Dorworth likes his development back scratched, and we can only assume that Lasso has awesome fingernails.

House District 29 (REP): Chris Dorworth vs. John Moffitt
Speaking of said blowhard doughboy Dorworth – who is only made pudgier by the Kevlar that the term "speaker designate" currently drapes him in – got an unexpected Republican challenger in the spring. What? Who challenges the King of Nothing? Well, two people do, but the only interesting one is John Moffitt, and Moffitt's only interesting because he was treasurer of the Seminole County Republicans. In a not-really bizarre twist, Moffitt has been citing Dorworth's questionable financial practices – you know, bad divorces, foreclosures, state party credit card scandals – in a move that is sure to win him no friends within the party. In fact, it hasn't. As of last month, Moffitt had raised a scant $3,356 to go up against Dorworth's $45,027 bag of expensive tricks.

Orange Commission District 5: Gina Duncan vs. Ted Edwards
Speaking of questionable clouds of finance, Commissioner Ted Edwards has his fingers in all sorts of development pies, a greedy attorney's wanderlust that has resulted in him abstaining from votes 38 times over an 18-month period. He's basically straddling I-Drive while making out with Harris Rosen, so it makes sense that he's worth nearly $8 million. Enter newcomer Gina Duncan, whose grass-roots, largely liberal campaign may not have much quantitative steam – she is clearly out-funded by Edwards – but turns the fantastic trick of being the first such campaign in Orange County by a transgender person. Duncan is no social-issue wallpaper, though; her chops were earned in the banking business and as head of the local gay chamber of commerce. She was also pivotal in moving the county forward with its domestic-partnership registry, something that Edwards quizzically muddied up in the last moments before the ordinance's passage. It should be noted that Duncan, a former high-school football star, could kick Edwards' ass if she wanted to. Just sayin'.

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