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Pam Bondi pulls the brakes on marriage equality

Beleaguered attorney general asks court to hold off for national ruling in order to save state money

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“Despite the vigorous policy and legal debates surrounding same-sex marriage, there is little disagreement about this: If the United States Supreme Court holds that states must sanction same-sex marriage, then Florida’s contrary laws must fall. And if the United States Supreme Court holds that states may choose, then plaintiffs’ contrary legal claims must fall, and it would be up to Florida’s voters to effect any change. Either way, this appeal would be over, and it would end without consuming any further taxpayer resources and without burdening Florida’s judiciary.”

– Attorney General Pam Bondi in an Aug. 8 motion to the Miami-Dade Third District Court of Appeal

JUST THE STATS

 

$128,972

Annual salary of Attorney General Pam Bondi

 

$1,000

Cost to the Florida Department of Corrections when Bondi postponed the execution of convicted murderer Marshall Lee Gore in 2013, in order to host a campaign fundraiser

 

$25,000

Amount Bondi’s “And Justice for All” political action committee received from Donald Trump in 2013 while the attorney general’s office was supposed to be investigating Trump. The investigation was called off.

Bonding out

It’s time to hate the gays again. Following some pretty scathing rulings on marriage equality coming out of Monroe County, Palm Beach County, Broward County and Miami-Dade County over a period of just 19 days – all in support of the 14th Amendment, all based on law and logic – everyone’s favorite confused contrarian Attorney General Pam Bondi decided it was time to hit the pause button on this bizarrely fabulous zeitgeist of social justice that’s sweeping the state and overwhelming her right now. Sometimes it really is too much to ask for our elected officials to slalom down the reason mountain, especially when they’re campaigning to the toothless fringes in far-flung fellowship halls. And sometimes the best thing to do is nothing, right? Except, in this case, she’s already been fighting the equality cases, so her argument that she wants to save “taxpayer resources … without burdening Florida’s judiciary” sounds like an ocean in a conch shell. Do you hear it? It’s totally the ocean.

Bondi has made it perfectly clear that it is her belief that the gay is totally like the Ebola virus, because she’s already been quoted saying as much: “Significant public harm” will befall all of us if Adam and Steve join Adam and Eve, thereby displacing the ban on gay marriage passed in Florida in 2008. It’s a biblical fact, and nobody disputes the Bible, ever.

Needless to say, the Democrats and equality-leaning groups were quick to pounce on Bondi (again) for looking dumb in public (again), and now we’re actually starting to feel bad for Bondi. Is that a thing?

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