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News

Obamacare debacle brings out the worst in everyone

Politicians play the blame game rather than find practical solutions

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If Crist's campaign starts to tank, Nelson could play the Chiles card. He may be the only other viable Democratic candidate with enough name recognition (and money) to beat Scott. And the Republican Party of Florida is already running ads using the loyal Democrats' own past zingers against Crist to fuel their fire: "He has done nothing to create jobs," one ad quotes Democratic Chair Karen Thurman as saying. "His only core belief is personal ambition." Ouch. 

Nelson, naturally, is staying out of the fray for now. He refused to confirm or deny any intention of running to the Tallahassee Democrat, and likewise, when Happytown reached out to his office for some comment on the speculation, spokesman Dan McLaughlin replied, simply: "I have nothing to report." 

And neither, it seems, do we. Except wouldn't it be cool if we had a former astronaut, instead of a former Republican, for governor?

 

STRAIGHTEN UP, FLY RIGHT

When you're a floundering Republican with nowhere else to turn, the best avenue is typically that which leads you backward on the evolutionary chart toward groaning apes and rural areas – or deeper into the closet. Everybody's favorite cult of sometimes-ethnicity Marco Rubio 

has been continuing to make noise exclusively out of the far-right speaker. We guess the hope is that by exploiting the so-called base, Rubio can deflect criticism that by acknowledging his family's Cuban heritage in drafting a failed immigration-reform plan that he later helped to kill, he has been a confusing traitor to American freedoms or something. Look over here! I hate gays

That's the homophobic message Rubio is sending, only now with increased hilarity. The once-prospective mainstream golden boy of 2016 Republican presidential hopes – back before Ted Cruz and Chris Christie gave him a wedgie in the locker room and stole the bullhorn – is now aligning himself with the most tragic paragons of prudence, our own local Florida Family Policy Council. Rubio, as of press time, was set to do some tithe-making for the hate group on Nov. 16 as a means of promoting what can at best be seen as an illogical agenda. 

It was just a few months ago that Florida Family Policy Council president John Stemberger was standing outside at a press conference wearing tan Boy Scout shorts (to the universal horror of everyone) while protesting the Boy Scouts' lukewarm inclusion of gay kids at an Orlando conference. Stemberger, genius that he is, went out and started his own bigoted scout-like group called Trail Life USA (snicker, snicker), which will – as Stemberger once threatened to do to his own spawn, publicly – beat the gay out of you, should you come across a little light in your merit badges. Fellowship! 

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