Local Color - Staff Picks

WMFE.com

If you've ever randomly typed in the call letters for local NPR affiliate, WMFE 90.7 FM, into your web browser without the appropriate suffix, you probably already know what we're talking about. Apparently when WMFE was setting up its web presence, it was able to purchase the .org but didn't get the .com. Instead, the "MEGA SITE of Bible prophecy information" scarfed it up and uses it to educate the liberal heathens who accidently stumble across it while trying to find a podcast of "This American Life" or "Fresh Air." "God loves you and is not willing that any should perish," the site kindly informs confused visitors. "You may have typed in a wrong domain name. If so, please retype the domain."

Best swan boat Heist

Dave Matthews Tribute Band comes to Orlando, steals and sinks Lake Eola swan boat

This hilariously mediocre crime could only happen here. In April, members of the Dave Matthews Tribute Band – that is to say, a band that makes its living touring and covering the Dave Matthews Band, under the moniker the Dave Matthews Tribute Band (get it?) – commandeered an irresistible Lake Eola swan boat at 2 in the morning and sunk it in the lake. Apparently, they sunk it pretty good, too – the next morning, the boat was seen upside down in the lake, with its head stuck in the mud. The swan boat was apparently worth anywhere from $2,700 to $10,000, depending on who you talked to, so the city charged the jam-band members with grand theft (!) for the swan boat heist.

 

Best holiday to celebrate in Orlando

Halloween

What is it about this town that makes Halloween the most eagerly anticipated holiday on the calendar? Every year, as soon as the calendar flips to October, it's like Halloween vomits on Orlando – and not just in a trick-or-treat, all-about-the-kids sort of way. We've got haunted walks in the woods, genuinely frightening haunted houses, dress-up pub crawls, big-money costume contests and zombies. Always with the zombies. If you find downtown Orlando blood-curdling any other time of year, you're sure to find some really scary shit trolling Orange Avenue in the weeks leading up to everyone's favorite pagan celebration.

Best place to buy a house, if you could afford one

Audubon Park Garden District

If you enjoy torturing yourself by lusting after unattainable houses in really great neighborhoods, get ready for the Audubon Park Garden District to break your heart. If you lived here – and it's really too bad about that credit score of yours – you could begin your mornings with coffee at Stardust Video & Coffee and a muffin from Blue Bird Bake Shop. Then you'd spend your midday browsing the book selection at Park Ave CDs, noshing on a rainbow roll from Sushi Lola's and buying potted plants at Palmer's Garden & Goods. Then you could pick up flowers for your sweetheart at Flower No. 5 before heading over to the Monday night Audubon Park Community Market for a locally farmed dinner. With newcomers like Redlight Redlight Beer Parlour and a permanent farmers market moving into a building on Corrine Drive later this year, the neighborhood will soon be more livable – but probably less affordable – than ever.

Best homeless Advocate who's Actually Homeless

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