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COLUMN

Happytown

The week where we realized that voting rights were intended to be a ball of confusion before we dropped our yogurt over a long-overdue arrest. You take the bad, you take the good.

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"In reality, there's just no widespread voter fraud," Randolph says. "That's the Republican goal: to make people cynical. The fewer people that vote, the more likely [Republicans] are to win elections."

In slightly less wonkish (but equally disturbing) news, an Aug. 17 Orlando Sentinel report tickled our fancy in a way that the paper's typical gamut of parasailing accidents atop pregnant pythons rarely does. The story was about a certain Corey Lamb, the co-owner of downtown yogurt hellhole Oopsy Scoopsy, who was arrested last week on felony charges of "committing grand theft and a financial scheme to defraud," both involving the money machine known as the city of Orlando. Why, you may ask, would we be giggling over the apparent demise of Lamb, who allegedly faked $11,000 in receipts for advertising and video-game machine purchases and turned them in to the city to justify his $15,000 grant from the city? (He also owes the city about $18,000 in rent, FYI.)

Well, for one, it's always funny how the city's pecuniary vetting plays out – just take a look at Cameron Kuhn or Lou Pearlman. But mostly this made us happy because Lamb is the owner of O-Cartz, those sort of stretch-golf-cart anomalies, a company that we reported extensively on back in February ("Live, work, pay," Feb. 23) after a young woman named Abbey Pfeiffer was struck by one errant cart as she crossed Orange Avenue downtown. Turns out that O-Cartz was running a similarly questionable operation, at least to the degree that the company allowed its insurance to lapse for the better part of the year, leaving Pfeiffer without much in the way of judicial relief for her extensive injuries. We spoke with Mayor Buddy Dyer for that piece, bringing up the fact that Dyer has posed in pictures with Lamb and that Lamb comfortably sits on the Orlando Citizens Police Review Board, even as he received financial assistance from the city. At the time, Dyer didn't make much of the connection. His staff, however, hinted about the city's growing problems with Lamb's financial indiscretions. (We tried to confirm with the city that we are, in fact, responsible for Lamb's takedown, but were not able to get said confirmation by press time.)

Meanwhile, Pfeiffer – whose case has been dropped by Morgan & Morgan since the story ran – could be heard rolling her eyes even through email when we forwarded the news of Lamb's troubles her way. "Go Orlando," she wrote. "Real cool that they ARE capable of sticking up for someone ... themselves."

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