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COLUMN

Happytown

The Republicans were coming! In lieu of eating pizza with Herman Cain, we popped in on a Ron Paul confab, looked for the sequestered bobbing heads of protest outside of the convention center and figured out that – surprise! – conservatives are talking about Jesus weather again. We were blown away.

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Devout Floridian readers will recognize this particular natural disaster meme as the anti-gay belch from the fringes that always seems to apply a punitive pallor to the face of Mr. Big. The queers are killing us all! That’s why it’s particularly notable that Carroll’s boss Gov. Rick Scott’s idol – and premature George Bush Ken Doll – Texas Gov. Rick Perry is grasping at similar straws. Perry has already made Jesus noise with his stadium-sized pray-offs, but now he’s enlisted Pam Olsen, the founder of the Tallahassee House of Prayer, as co-chair for his Florida presidential campaign ambitions. And hold on to your hats – she’s a doozy.

According to a YouTube clip on rightwingwatch.org, Olsen sees gays (especially gay marriages) as the keys to the apocalypse. In July, she gave a speech in which she made her point painfully clear. “God is shaking. If anybody looks at the news and has just seen what’s been happening recently with the floods, the fires, the tornadoes, God is shaking … ,” she ranted. “And I think it’s going to get worse.” Yes. Yes it is.

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