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COLUMN

Happytown

In which we playfully crash the bejeweled intentions of the Dr. Phillips Center's tent party and then try to get all up in the face of evil Gov. Rick Scott. We will survive!

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Back to business: Scott gave his obligatory gubernatorial optimism by citing the state's falling unemployment percentage and said his legislation would "modernize" Florida's retirement systemby bringing it in line with a leaner, more efficient private-sector model. "I'm here in Orlando to sign legislation that protects three things: Florida's government retirees, their pensions and Florida taxpayers," Scott said. (In other news, someone in Berkshire reported thumping sounds emanating from George Orwell's grave.)

After the conference, the press was given exactly three minutes to speak with Scott, and WFTV Channel 9's Darlene Jones was brave enough to challenge the governor on "balancing the state budget on [teachers'] backs." We muscled in a question about whether the recent resignations of his Chief of Staff Mike Prendergast and Chief Adviser Mary Anne Carter had anything to do with his sagging poll numbers, but Scott would only restate the obvious, that is, that Prendergast has an interest in veterans' issues and Carter "worked on my campaign." He then darted behind the black curtain from whence he emerged as questions about SunRail bounced off his shoulder and into the evil ether. Who needs answers when there are so many questions?

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