What's Hot
What's Going On


Search thousands of events in our database.


Search hundreds of restaurants in our database.


Search hundreds of clubs in our database.


OW on Twitter
OW on Facebook
Print Email



Mike Haridopolos gets sanitized, Teresa Jacobs conjures DPAC magic and rich people in apartments can feel a lot safer now

Photo: , License: N/A

mother Teresa: Can the queen of the county magically save the performing arts center?

Love is in the air, traveling like a communicable disease-laden breeze of phlegmatic infection dead set on tempering your next utterance with illness. And because politics is forever a rumbling Petri-dish of wayward microbes, it seems only fitting that last week brought with it a political stunt with antibiotic leanings. The occasion was the first big-boy appearance by little man - and Florida Senate President - Mike Haridopolos as he began to stage his Lego ladder to Washington, D.C., by way of Democrat Bill Nelson's descending U.S. Senatorial space-shuttle seat. Haridopolos pulled an Orlando "flyover" fundraising stop on Thurs., Feb. 3, imploring his gathered minions (including "No-Name Club" rabble-rouser, attorney Fred Leonhardt, natch) to go ahead and pre-write those required $10,000 checks before even entering the Orlando International Airport Hyatt Hotel for a make-believe salad. Everything above board! No hijinks or airborne ethical germs here! Except it was a so-called "private strategy session," so nobody real was allowed in. 

Haridopolos, according to http://saint
petersblog.com, raised about $1 million on Thursday - Nelson already has $3 million in the bank - but he also raised his coiffed profile. The other half of our favorite topical comedy troupe CannonHair™, Florida House Speaker Dean Cannon, R-Winter Park, popped out of a cake labeled "Surprise!" and issued his endorsement. Scattered development interests and lobbyists shuffled around in a back-pat line-dance. It was our little man's big day!

Until reality set in, that is. In a triumph of guerilla politicking, several progressive groups anticipated the fanfare and launched their own bit of comedy in the direction of Haridopolos. First, there was the website, www.DirtyHari.org, a "one-stop shop for what Floridians need to know about Senate 
President Mike Haridopolos," according to a press release. For now, those things are what we already know: that Haridopolos screwed up his financial disclosures, took an overpaid side gig with University of Florida, virulently opposed health-care reform and keeps a staff of double-dipping public employees. More dirt is expected as more dirt presents itself.

Which is fine, because we happen to be in possession of a brand new bottle of DirtyHari.org hand sanitizer! It's green and it has a blond Haridopolos wig on it! The pointed piece of swag was developed by Progress Florida and Florida Watch Action (and countless Chinese orphans) as a means of getting the ethics point across at the Haridopolos event. Sources tell Happytown™ that the six-inch bottles could be found in all of the bathrooms surrounding the super-secret fundraiser, and that, in fact, one found its way into the slimy hands of a Haridopolos employee. Reportedly, Haridopolos denied it ever happened, and decided to hang his press-release wig back on the fact that he made $1 million appear out of thin air. Cough. We think we're getting sick.

We welcome user discussion on our site, under the following guidelines:

To comment you must first create a profile and sign-in with a verified DISQUS account or social network ID. Sign up here.

Comments in violation of the rules will be denied, and repeat violators will be banned. Please help police the community by flagging offensive comments for our moderators to review. By posting a comment, you agree to our full terms and conditions. Click here to read terms and conditions.
comments powered by Disqus