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COLUMN

Happytown

Nobody likes Rick Scott, liberals (still) love Alan Grayson, Bill Nelson hates chromium and you can't interfere with destiny!

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Nice bioassays!: Don’t drink the water


No more excuses. Time to
finally rub your fists against your bleary eyes and wake up: We have a new governor! Gone is the old, squinty soft-shoe of tan-in-a-can Charlie Crist; gone is that willing suspension of disbelief that comes from blurry reassurances uttered by this charming, disarming man. There’s a new headmaster in Tallahassee, see, and chrome-dome Rick Scott apparently doesn’t give two shits if you like him or not. Guess what? 
You don’t.

Maybe it’s the rumor-mill runoff from the transitional weeks just before his Jan. 4 inauguration – the privatizing of schools, the utilities-for-businesses incentives to be buffeted by residential power price hikes, the Great Bieber Lie of 2010 – or maybe it’s just the sort of vacant cruelty of his Frankenstein brow, but somehow this guy, who you elected, has just earned the title “most unpopular newly elected Governor in the country.” Hooray for superlatives.

Last week, Public Policy Polling unveiled a new survey in which our own Lex Luthor received only a 33 percent favorability rating, though to be fair his unfavorable ratings have dipped from 54 to 43 percent since election day. (That’s what we call “hope” in this business.) Meanwhile, a good 50 percent of Floridians were pleased with Crist’s performance, even though that’s pretty much all it was: a performance. So, if only one-third of Floridians like Scott now compared to 34 percent two months ago, exactly how did he get this job? He paid for it. Now it’s our turn!

We bet you thought you’d read the last installment of What’s Up With Alan?™, our attempt to keep you up to date on the comings and goings of Orlando’s favorite (outgoing) congressman, Alan Grayson! Wrong!

Online news site Politics Daily reports that Grayson, the “master of the outrageous sound bite, and perhaps the most reviled member of the House,” has appeared on a list of anti-war Democrats who could challenge Obama in the primaries in 2012. There’s an Alan Grayson for President 2012 Facebook page, on which people are posting on the wall begging him to run (“Please run! America needs you!”). And, naturally, someone has started a “Draft Grayson for President” campaign, which positions Grayson as the kind of progressive people hoped Obama would be: “Grayson will fight for the things that Candidate Obama campaigned for. End the wars. Fair taxation. Return to a rule of law.”

Grayson, naturally, has been coy about his interest (or lack thereof) in running. In a Dec. 9 interview on MSNBC, he blew the question off. But we know what kind of guy Grayson is, and all of the fawning has got to be going to his head. As Politics Daily points out, the guy’s got an ego.

Despite his rather combustible personality and tendency to make inflammatory comments, Grayson apparently has the name recognition, an unequivocal anti-war record and  lots of money with which to launch a campaign.

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