Happytown

And now it’s time for another 
edition of What’s Up With Alan?™, our attempt to keep you up to date on the comings and goings of Orlando’s favorite (outgoing!) congressman, Alan Grayson!

This week’s installment finds Alan going not-so-quietly into that great night with a couple of television appearances that might or might not have implied that Grayson remains both an unpleasant ideologue and a political powerhouse. In fact, he may be president!

At issue was a Dec. 8 appearance on MSNBC’s late night finger-wag, The Last Word with 
cuddly socialist Lawrence O’Donnell. Grayson was invited on because he signed a strongly worded letter to President Barack Obama ribbing him for bowing to wealthy Republican rhetoric on the tax-cut-extension issue. There’s a fire on the left! You know 
the drill.

Anyway, O’Donnell took little time (and much apparent glee) in crushing Grayson’s theoretically detached opinion on the issue – basically that Democrats should keep pushing til they get what they want, no matter if the tax cuts and unemployment coverage run out in a few short weeks. It’s all a matter of principle, Grayson mugged.

“Wrong, congressman!” O’Donnell’s pupils dilated. “Stop there!” Then he went on to dress down Grayson, ending with “Stop. Be an adult about this, 
congressman!”

“This is supposed to be the intelligent network,” Grayson barked.

Yikes. But what a difference a day makes. The very next night, Grayson was right back in O’Donnell’s hot seat – this time playing “Cindy” to Ralph Nader’s “Greg” – when O’Donnell said this: “I was inexcusably rude to [Grayson] on this panel discussion last night.” The segment went out on that latest of progressive limbs, the one where Democrats intend to refashion Obama by means of a 2012 primary challenger. Or, as Nader put it, “start a rumble.” And guess who O’Donnell was effectively pegging for the position? Our man Grayson.

Grayson chuckled uncomfortably for a seeming 36 hours over the suggestion before dismissing it as a “distraction.”

Obama “has to learn to be the president we voted for,” Grayson said, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. Consider yourself warned!

But not warmed. Though temperatures are dipping to near-freezing levels, you can still pull up to the Baywash building on the corner of Semoran and University boulevards and have your 
car washed by attractive young women wearing bikinis.

“People tip better when it’s cold, because they feel bad for us,” says 18-year-old Lauren Tipton, who, on the day of our visit, donned a pair of black leg warmers in addition to her traditional garb.

Though the women are allowed to wear jackets and sweatpants when it gets colder, rest assured, the bikinis are on underneath – it’s company policy. Yet the power of imagination isn’t strong enough to maintain the 
mostly male customer base during the winter. According to Tipton, in winter the car count is only around 10 per day, down from 60 in the summertime.

> Email Jeff Gore and Billy Manes

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