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Summer Guide 2012

Doing it and doing it and doing it where?

Spots you can make hotter this summer

Photo: Jumpingsack, License: N/A

Jumpingsack


Baywash Bikini Car Wash
100 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park

We are by no means suggesting that you try to entice any of the lovely ladies employed here to suds up your hood and give you a happy ending with your detailing. After all, this is a place of business, and they have a job to do. Bring your own hook-up. But you've got to love the idea of getting so dirty while other people are working to make you so clean.
Comfort: (4 out of 5)
Visibility: (5 out of 5)
Degree of Wrongness: (3 out of 5)

Burger King - BK Lounge
2000 Consulate Drive

Don't have $400 to drop on "bottle service" at your favorite club? Not to worry. BK has recreated the club lounge experience with a semi-private section of plush chairs and a long bar. Yeah, you'll probably be seen, but no minimum-wage burger flipper is going to mind the fact that you just livened up an otherwise completely boring day. If you've ever wanted to feel like a rock star and make your sex smell like bacon, this is the place.
Comfort: (5 out of 5)
Visibility: (3 out of 5)
Wrongness: (4 out of 5)

Greenwood Cemetery - Babyland
1603 Greenwood St.

To be honest, this is why we created the wrongness category. Let each level of that sink in. Hardcore outdoor sex ... in a cemetery ... on top of the plots devoted to infants. OK, first off, you're really not going to want to get caught doing this because there are some parents who might care. So head to one of the very old Babyland plots, over near the 408, where the grass is cool, there's shade, you're really out of the way. And with the highway right there, you could probably even make some noise if you wanted to.
Comfort: (4 out of 5)
Visibility: (2 out of 5)
Wrongness: (6 out of 5)

Orlando Weekly Parking Lot
1505 E. Colonial Drive

We are bored and lonely people who promise just to peek. Can't say the same for the employees of the Florida Safety Council, which shares our building, however. We won't tell. They might.
Comfort: (2 out of 5)
Visibility: (2 out of 5)
Wrongness: (1 out of 5)

Summer Guide 2012
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