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COLUMN

Council Watch

Billy Manes pays attention to local government so you don't have to

Item: The city approves an agreement between the City of Orlando and Orlando Health Inc. regarding the Orlando Health/Amtrak SunRail station and impact fee credits.

Translation: Speaking of sick, back on July 29, 2011, the city threw down $2.7 million to the Florida Department of Transportation for the construction of one of its future SunRail stations adjacent to the Orlando Health campus, mostly because it wanted the depot to look nice. Now, Orlando Health is returning the favor in the form of a $1 million reimbursement with no strings attached! Not really. Orlando Health gets first right of refusal on any advertising at the station, some infrastructural improvements and a “quiet zone” somewhere in the path of the oncoming train. Also, this item includes a benign memorandum of understanding that suggests that the hospital will get impact-fee credits for non-SunRail developments to its campus. Back, scratched.

Item:The city accepts a grant funded by the Florida Bar for a student internship program for the city attorney's office.

Translation:Ah, the life of an intern: grabbing coffee, smiling through hate, Facebooking hidden messages about how awful the oldz are that challenge you to do slave labor while they run out and smoke. Boone High School boasts a law magnet program, from which the city will pick one lucky student to come and work in the city attorney's office doing a “variety of tasks” and filling in when the rich folk take vacations. The Florida Bar provides a matching grant of $1,250 for this undertaking, meaning that some lucky (and ambitious) legal eagle will take home $2,500 at the end of the summer. What did you do on your summer vacation? You made enough to throw your first lawyer party! Hookers and blow!

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