Published: August 27, 2014
My boyfriend of two years cannot climax or maintain an erection unless his testicles are handled, squeezed, pulled or pressed on (preferably with my stockinged foot or knee). Needless to say, intercourse does not work very well, and our sexual repertoire is rather limited. His doctor says his ED is not physiological. I’ve read your advice on “death grip” masturbation and suspect it’s a variation of that. I would love to try to “rewire” him; we have started trying to conceive, so we need him to ejaculate successfully at least a few times per cycle. We are in our mid-30s, so I don’t want to wait months for him to increase his sensitivity. What would you suggest?
Almost Resigned To A Turkey Baster
My first suggestion is that you drop the stigmatizing and unhelpful talk about ED (“erectile dysfunction”). Your boyfriend’s dick works – he can obtain and sustain an erection, he can blow loads – he just requires a specific and inconvenient form of stimulus to obtain and sustain that erection.
My second suggestion is to accessorize. He needs to have his balls handled, squeezed, pulled and pressed on? There are toys for that! At Mr. S Leather (mr-s-leather.com), for instance, you’ll find all sorts of metal and silicone ball stretchers; some of them lock, some are electrified and some snap on with magnets. This is a little complicated to explain – it would be easier to show you, but I don’t make house calls anymore – but try to picture this: You roll up one of your stockings, put his balls in the toe, bolt a ball stretcher around his now-stocking-wrapped sack, and then unroll the stocking. Then yank on one end of the stocking either with your toes (pulling his balls down) or with your hand after pulling the stocking up through his crack and over his shoulder (pulling his balls back and up). Voilà! Your boyfriend’s balls are being handled, squeezed and pulled on during PIV intercourse, you’re doing the pulling and your stockings are in play!
Work with his kink and there’s no need to waste time retraining him – and, hey, who knows? A few dozen successful PIV/ball-stretcher sessions could help your boyfriend make the leap to plain ol’ PIV. Quality metal ball stretchers aren’t cheap; a good one will set you back $150. But they’re a whole lot cheaper than fertility treatments and a fuck of a lot sexier than turkey basters.
My husband has seen a professional dominatrix for more than a decade. We’ve gotten to know her socially – she’s a lovely person – but I feel she should stop charging my husband for sessions, as we are now friends. She is a “lifestyle dominant” and enjoys her job.
The Vanilla Wife
My lawyer is a “lifestyle arguer,” he enjoys his job and I see him socially – and I pay him for his services, TVW, because he is a professional. The same goes for your husband’s dom.
I am a 31-year-old gay man in a new relationship. My boyfriend is amazing, and our sex life is hot. We’re very open with each other, so he was comfortable telling me that he’s into piss. I can tell the thought of me pissing in his mouth or vice versa is a major turn-on for him. I’ve never done anything like that before, so he said that it was not a requirement, just a bonus, and we moved on. Now I’m thinking about it a lot because seeing him satisfied is a major turn-on for me, and the thought of not giving him everything he wants bothers me. I’ve always considered myself GGG when it comes to sex, so I think I’m open to trying this. But rather than just doing it, I’d like to enjoy it. Do you have any suggestions for helping me sexualize it in my mind?
Piss Is Sorta Sexy
> Email Dan Savage