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Savage Love

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A few months ago, I started getting hang-up calls from numbers I didn’t recognize in Boston. Then weird texts started showing up, trying to set up “dates.” I responded to the first few because I figured someone was giving out a fake number that just happened to be mine. (I kept my cell phone when I moved from Boston to Seattle.) But after the fourth or fifth call/text from a different unknown number, I turned to the internet. Google informed me that my phone number is identical, except for area code, to that of a trans escort working in Boston. I’m getting one or two calls or texts per week meant for this other woman. They’ve started to get more explicit. Because of the time difference, they come at weird hours. I don’t know what I should do. I can ask my phone company to block each number individually, but that’s a pain in the ass. I can text the correct area code to the men who are writing to me looking for the trans escort, but I don’t really want to help people too stupid to read a phone number correctly. I suppose I could report the whole thing to the Boston police, but I doubt they’d care, and I don’t have any moral objections to sex work, I just don’t want people to call/text me asking for it. Aside from changing my phone number, which has been my sole number for almost eight years, anything else you can suggest?
Stupid Phone And Messages

You claim to have no moral objections to sex work, and you say you’re a tolerant person. But you’re thinking of siccing the police on a trans sex worker – and for what? One or two calls or texts per week. As pains in the ass go, SPAM, that sounds like a pretty piddling one.

You know what constitutes a major pain in the ass for a sex worker? Being harassed by the police and swept up in the criminal justice system. You’re right, the police are unlikely to drop everything to solve your problem. But if your call was answered by a lazy cop who would rather hassle trans sex workers than go after criminals who are actually hurting people, this woman – a woman who has not hurt you in any way – could wind up getting badly hurt. The criminal justice system is rough on sex workers generally, and it’s absolutely brutal to trans women who do sex work.

Here’s a better idea: Call the trans escort and have a conversation with her. You’ve got her phone number. Talk to her.

As distressed as you are to receive these calls and texts, that sex worker will probably be more distressed to learn that she’s losing so many potential clients. I have known a few sex workers and most would change their professional phone numbers regularly to rid themselves of time-wasters and clients they didn’t want to see again. The sex worker whose calls you’re getting may be willing to change her number, or least emphasize the correct area code in her ads.

I’m a happily married woman in my 30s. My husband and I are interested in exploring anal sex. We enjoy finger play, but so far we haven’t tried anything larger. He’s afraid of hurting me and wants to start with toys and plugs. But I want to jump right in. He’s not that big and, in all honesty, I take shits that are longer and thicker than his erect penis. (Sorry to be gross.) Do you think we need to start slow? Why won’t he even try?
Anal Novice Anxiously Lusting

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