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COLUMN

Savage Love

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Assuming you’re still interested in relocating your pee hole after reading all that, how do you go about finding a urologist who’ll perform this surgery? You make appointments with qualified urologists, tell them what you want and risk being turned away. One final note …

“Ejaculation will occur through that new hole in a somewhat non-directable way – which could be fun or not,” says Dr. Newman. In other words, SITTERS, after you have this done, you’ll not only be peeing sitting down, you’ll also be coming all over the back of your sack.

I’m a 24-year-old gay male in a three-year relationship with a man I love with all my heart. I also have a diaper fetish. I told him about it once, nearly two years ago, but have not brought it up since. Recently I have gone out to buy diapers. I don’t use the diapers for pee or poop, but I enjoy the feeling of wearing them. I have talked to other diaper lovers (DL) online, but I have never gotten the courage to meet up and experiment. I recently started talking with a guy who lives a few miles away who is also a DL. I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend, but I would like to indulge my fetish at least once in my life. If there is no sex during the fetish play, would that be cheating? There would be no kissing or anything. I would just change his diaper and powder him, and he would be doing the same to me and whatnot. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and would love to hear your advice.
Diapered Dilemma

Here’s what Good Dan would tell you: Go and tell your boyfriend that you love him, remind him about the conversation you had two years ago about your diaper fetish, and ask if he would be up for exploring this aspect of your sexuality with you. If so, great! No need to see that other guy. But if not, ask your boyfriend how he would feel about you getting together with someone who shares your kink – not for sex, just for diapering and powdering and whatnot. If he doesn’t mind, great! If he does mind, well, then you need to think about whether staying in this relationship is wise … because sooner or later, you’re going to cheat on him. And if you don’t want to be the kind of person who cheats on his boyfriend, you’ll have to find one who shares your kink or is willing to share you.

Here’s what Bad Dan would tell you: Seeing as you’re only 24, and seeing as you’ve been in this relationship for three years, and seeing as you’ve never engaged in any diaper play … sneaking off to play with that other DL might help clarify things. Either you’ll learn that diaper play is something you can’t live without (which will prompt you to force the issue with your boyfriend, i.e., he either plays with you or gives you permission to play with others) or you’ll realize that diapered reality is a lot less sexy than diaper fantasies and your kink will evaporate (highly unlikely).

Good Dan thinks you should take his advice because Good Dan is an annoying prick who thinks he’s right about everything. But Bad Dan thinks you should know that Actual Dan took his advice back when he was your age – about exploring his sexuality generally, not about exploring diapers specifically – and it helped clarify things for Actual Dan.

On the Lovecast, Dan gets a second-opinion assist from Slate’s Dear Prudence: savagelovecast.com.

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