Published: December 25, 2013
How would you react to that? Probably like this: You would get up, get dressed, tell her she’s full of shit and inform her on your way out the door that all of her previous boyfriends were liars. You wouldn’t settle for indirect stimulation, so why should your girlfriends have to settle for indirect stimulation?
I’m going to let you off the hook just a bit: You most likely aren’t entirely responsible for your ignorance or your predicament. The women you’ve slept with up to this point may have contributed to your ignorance. A lot of women, when they first start having sex, believe they should be able to have orgasms from intercourse alone because that’s the way women’s orgasms seem to work in movies, porn and romance novels, and, funnily enough, it’s the way their ill-informed young boyfriends insist women’s orgasms work. Consequently, some young women psych themselves out, convincing themselves that they’re having orgasms while their boyfriends huff and puff; other women fake orgasms for fear that their boyfriends will think they’re damaged goods if they can’t come from intercourse alone.
Since inexperienced young women tend to have sex with inexperienced young men, these psyched/faked orgasms can leave young men with a false impression of the way women’s bodies work and, sadly, of their own sexual abilities. Bad-in-bed boys bop through their sex lives until the earth-shattering moment when they find themselves in bed with a woman who insists on a little hand action or a lot of oral sex. When a boy finds himself in bed with a woman who demands that her orgasm (and her clit) play as central a role in the sex act as his orgasm (and the head of his dick), these boys freak the fuck out.
As for your particular cock, it may be too big, too small or just right, but almost all women need stimulation in addition to fucking to achieve orgasm, regardless of their manfriend’s cock size. So the size of your pee-pee doesn’t matter all that friggin’ much, except, perhaps, aesthetically.
So remember to pay attention to her clit while you’re fucking her. If your arms aren’t broken or bound, reach down or around and finger her clit while you bang away; encourage her to play with herself when you’re fucking; try different positions to see if different angles of penetration might provide more direct stimulation to her clit, and then let her control the speed and pace of the grind; get her off with your mouth or your hand before you fuck; buy some “clit grapes” at a sex-toy store – the possibilities are endless. Learn more about women’s bodies, listen to your partner’s verbal cues, watch for her physical ones and make her pleasure a priority – that’s how you avoid being one of those men women complain about all the time. Good luck.
This holiday season, send the Savage Lovecast as a gift! savagelovecast.com
> Email Dan Savage