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Savage Love

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Having to live in the closet is difficult. I cannot say that it is as difficult for us as it is for someone who is LGBT. I agree with you that this is a relationship structure rather than a sexual orientation. But it doesn’t matter. This isn’t a contest about who suffers more or where these things come from. Instead, I think we should ask ourselves if we stand for the same things and if we can become part of a movement toward freedom and equality for everyone, even if some of the ways we live and love are choices and some are not. The progress we have made together toward a more tolerant world for gay people gives me hope that we could be next. I don’t think you are the emperor of acronyms, Dan, but you should be, and that is why I am starting with you. So can we be added to the acronym, please? Perhaps we can honor the differences between our experience and the LGBT experience with an ampersand. What do you think of LGBT&P?

-Privately Polyamorous Person

You haven’t been keeping up, PPP. We are no longer the LGBT community. We are the LGBTQLFTSQIA community, aka the lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, leather/fetish, two-spirit, questioning, intersex, and asexual community/communities. I don’t see why we can’t slap a “P” onto the end of our acronym, so say it with me now: “I’m proud to be a member of the LGBTQLFTSQIAP community/communities!”

And why should poly folks be held at arm’s length with an ampersand? Because most poly folks are straight? Lots of leather/fetish folks are straight, and they’re covered in the acronym. Lots of trans men and trans women are straight, and they’re covered. David Jay, founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, “is in a romantic relationship with an asexual girlfriend and hopes to adopt a child,” according to his Wiki page, and he’s covered. If the Ts and LFs and As aren’t being held with a pair of punctuational tongs, why should poly folks be? So welcome to the club, PPP. Congrats!

And here’s the best part of putting poly folks in the acronym: It brings us one step closer to seizing control of the entire alphabet. While religious conservatives are fighting a losing battle to “take back the rainbow” from the gays – a movement led by a fundamentalist preacher in Washington State – we’ve been making off with the alphabet one letter at a time. Pretty soon, angry religious conservatives will have to post their hateful screeds in hieroglyphics because using the alphabet will be just as gay as putting a rainbow bumper sticker on your car.

Maybe I ought to let you have your ampersand. Why not steal punctuation marks from the haters, too?

On the Savage Lovecast, hear the tale of a college slut-shaming intervention: savagelovecast.com.

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