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Savage Love

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The consensus in the sex-and-science research crowd is this: Your kinks will always be your kinks – a brain cannot be retrained where kinks are concerned – so you might as well enjoy your kinks. But that’s only if your kinks can be enjoyed consensually, which yours happily can be. And while it’s true that some people have taken drugs to “treat” disturbing kinks, these drugs – mostly SSRIs – suppress libido generally; they do not target (nor can they eradicate) one kink in particular. Figuring out your kink’s narratives and themes may help you tap into and enjoy other kinks with similar Ns and Ts but lower creep factors. If what you enjoy about diapers is the helplessness and loss of control they symbolize mixed with your submission to an affectionate and caring authority figure, you might find fetish puppy play similarly arousing, as that kink also has themes of helplessness, dependence and affection. And while most people don’t find fucking a person who is pretending to be a baby dog any less creepy than fucking a person who’s pretending to be a baby baby, there seem to be a lot more puppy players out there than diaper fans.

Keep looking for a guy who’s into the same things you are. If for some reason you can’t date the great guy who helped you mix diaper play with bondage, you should take his existence as proof that there are other guys like him, i.e., guys who will like you and like what you like.

This week on the “Savage Lovecast,” Dan chats with an expert about sex after weight-loss surgery: savagelovecast.com

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