Published: November 27, 2013
I recently ended a relationship that lasted a year and five months. While I loved this woman, for much of the relationship she was, to varying degrees, depressed. I tried to be as helpful and patient as possible with the hope and expectation that she would get better. I got her into counseling. We went to couples counseling together. She got on medication. I encouraged her to eat well and exercise daily. I tried to get her out into nature. I tried to listen and practice strong communication skills. I encouraged her to explore the benefits of a fulfilling and GGG relationship, but our sex life faltered because of the depression and her low libido. I kept helping and waiting, but she was simply unable to assert herself to make healthy changes. I felt trapped dating someone who couldn’t take control of her life, and the patterns kept repeating. I eventually ended the relationship, which was the right decision for me, but she was crushed. Do you have any advice for dating someone with depression? Can relationships and depression work? I found it to be soul-crushing.
Serious About Depression
“I think SAD did the right thing,” said Rob Delaney, the comedian, Twitter supernova and author of the new book Rob Delaney: Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage. “And not only ‘the’ right thing, but a series of right things.”
Delaney’s book is a collection of personal essays – most of them hilarious – in which he writes about his own struggle with depression so crippling, it almost took his life. Delaney is now the official spokesperson for all people everywhere who struggle with depression.
“This guy went above and beyond, motivated by his obvious love for this woman and his decency as a person,” Delaney continued. “One might ‘suck it up’ for a bit longer if there are kids involved or if you’ve been together for years and years and this depressive state is an anomaly, but this guy can’t be expected to weld himself to someone he’s been dating for less than a year and a half when there are people out there he’d truly enjoy himself with.”
Delaney not only felt that you had done right by this woman, but that your actions could serve as a template for other readers dating people struggling with depression.
“SAD was kind, patient and proactive, and when that didn’t work, he ended the relationship,” said Delaney. “He seems to have a manageable enough ego to realize that he’s not the sun and the air and the only doorway through which this woman can walk to happiness; he’s merely another human being (albeit a kind one) whose happiness has value, too. And maybe this breakup will provide the jolt she needs to recalibrate her approach to her depression and really get better.”
Not following @RobDelaney on Twitter? You’re the only one. Go to robdelaney.com to buy his new book.
Can someone grow out of or “quit” a fetish? I’m an ABDL, which stands for “adult baby/diaper lover.” I get turned on by putting other guys into diapers or having other guys put me in diapers. I can have normal sex and have had a few decent relationships, or at least as decent as most gay guys still in college have, with guys I’ve met through kink sites like Fetlife or through the normal means of meeting guys. I’ve met a great guy who has helped me mix ABDL with bondage for some REAL fun, and I’m pretty OK with knowing that there’s nothing wrong with having a kink like mine. I had a perfectly normal childhood, and it’s not like I suffered a diaper-related trauma or something. I just always liked diapers. Unfortunately, this fetish creeps most people out and is closely associated with pedophilia, even though members of the ABDL community have NO interest in kids. However, the idea of being into this kink when I’m in my 40s really grosses me out. I’ve gone through the binge-and-purge cycle most guys go through when they realize they’re into diapers. But is there any way to retrain your brain to not get off on a particular fetish?
Another Boy Diaper Lover
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