Published: October 30, 2013
My husband and I have recently started flirting with the idea of “same-room sex” with other couples. We want a couple to watch us have sex, and we want to watch them have sex, but there would be no physical contact between the couples. But we have had a difficult time finding couples that do not want a soft or full swap. Long story short, I have decided to surprise my husband with a prostitute who will watch and video us but not have contact with either of us. I think he will be thrilled. But I’m wondering if you have any advice on this situation. What are the dos and don’ts? I am totally naive about sex work and sex workers, and I’m also afraid I could get jealous since there would be no other man in the room for me! I should mention that we have had same-room sex with a couple and it went fairly well, but we couldn’t really perform because they kept trying to initiate a swap with us. Help me avoid possible pitfalls!
Monogamous Voyeurs And Exhibitionists
“Surprises are generally unwelcome when it comes to sex, and especially to sex work,” says Siouxsie Q, a Bay Area sex worker as well as the creator and host of the thewhorecast.com, a weekly podcast about sex work and sex workers. “You think your husband will be thrilled by a surprise prostitute – but what if he is not?”
You’re already worried that you might not be into it: You wanna be watched by a male/female couple, but you’re only thinking about hiring a woman, and that could leave you feeling jealous and left out.
“But if you are going to hire a pro, you might as well get exactly what you want, right?” says Siouxsie. “There are plenty of escorts who do ‘doubles’ with other escorts. Take the time to do the research and find a provider who offers doubles with a male escort or a partner –some providers even specialize in this! Communicate about it with your husband, and instead of putting together an elaborate surprise, embark on a sexual adventure together. The process of looking through ads and picking out people you both find attractive may even be fun.”
Siouxsie recommends booking at least two hours for a session like this —you don’t want to rush through your fantasy, right? —and to respect your sex worker’s quoted rate, i.e., no haggling over their hourly rate.
“When your providers arrive, communicate your boundaries and expectations clearly so everyone is on the same page,” says Siouxsie, “and you and your husband should agree in advance about either of you being able to call a ‘time-out’ mid-session in order to reestablish boundaries or to talk something out. And finally, on a more personal note, this sounds like a really fun session that most providers I know would be really stoked to book! So get out there and make your fantasies come true!”
For your Halloween treat, Dan secures sex advice from a mortician, at savagelovecast.com.
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