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COLUMN

Savage Love

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What ground rules should be set for a friends-with-benefits situation?

The most important ground rule: Be friends. Too many people are pointedly unfriendly to their FWBs because they don’t want their FWBs “getting the wrong idea,” i.e., they don’t want their FWBs to think they might be interested in something more serious. The result? Lots of FWB situations are all B and no F. No friendly gestures (friends sometimes give each other gifts), no friendly assistance (friends sometimes help each other move), no friendly concern (friends are there for each other during a crisis). Don’t want your FWB to get the wrong idea about your intentions? Use your words to tell your FWB that a serious romance isn’t in the cards. Then make a good-faith effort to be a friend to your FWB.

How can I go about financial domination in a smart way? (I’m a 19-year-old girl and I’m looking to Dom.)

Most men who submit to financial domination – making cash gifts to a Dom – expect a little something in return: some attention, some pictures, maybe a Skype session now and then. Be warned: Once your images are out there, they’re out there. And an angry, vindictive “sub” might post your pictures online, or a careless sub could lose his computer and someone else could steal and post your photos or web chats.

Any plans to retire?

Give up an advice column? No way. It’s too sweet a gig. They’ll have to pry my column from my cold, dead hands just like they pried Ann Landers’ column from hers.

Thanks, Halifax, for such a great evening. And congrats to Kyle and Christine and everyone at the Coast on 20 great years!

The new Savage Lovecast season starts Oct. 22 at savagelovecast.com.

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