Published: October 2, 2013
If you feel like spending time with your colleague is a genuine threat to your marriage, and if protecting your marriage from genuine threats is a priority, then keep doing what you’re doing: Keep fucking your husband, keep avoiding your colleague, keep feeling your feelings and with enough time and fucking and feeling, your crush on your colleague should wither away.
But … so far, it would appear that this emotional affair has had a positive impact on your marriage. Your feelings for your colleague dislodged something that reinvigorated your marriage. So if your colleague knew you were married and didn’t ask you to leave your husband, and if your husband didn’t threaten to divorce you, but asked if this was “something you need to explore,” you might be able to have a relationship with your colleague without having to end your marriage. Love isn’t always a zero-sum game.
If a random guy hands a girl his number – unsolicited – on a piece of paper without even talking to the girl first, is it wrong for the girl’s boyfriend to send this random guy a picture of his shit? I think it’s OK to send a picture. Others seem to think it’s abhorrent. Also, I think worse things have happened to people who ask out girls with protective and insecure boyfriends.
Asshole move, but it’s not really Random Guy to whom you’re being an asshole. RG is just gonna delete the pic and get on with his life. It’s your girlfriend. You’re telling her that she’s stuck with a guy who regards her as his property and will react like a huge asshole whenever someone else expresses the least interest in her, even if she didn’t invite it.
And you shouldn’t act like an asshole even if she did invite it. Sometimes partnered people engage in a little innocent flirting because it makes them feel attractive and alive, and if you can’t chill the fuck out about it, sooner or later, your girlfriend is gonna get sick of your shit and delete you.
On the Savage Lovecast, Dan and fashionista Simon Doonan talk fashion and get real bitchy at savagelovecast.com.
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