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COLUMN

Savage Love

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I’m 25, I live in Portland and my boyfriend and I have been monogamous for five years. His dick is of average size. It’s not small enough for him to have dealt with the emotional baggage associated with “small dicks.” Yet, I’ve had sex with big dicks, and I would love to try one of those dick sheaths or extenders. But my boyfriend is sensitive, and I feel like I’m going to permanently fuck up our sex life if I ask for one. How can I propose this without him feeling like his manhood is insufficient? I’ve heard you talk about how it’s best to share your kinks as if they were added bonuses – and not as if they were terminal cancers – but I can’t figure out how to talk about this without hurting his ego. Advice?
Sincerely Loves Average Man

“Getting a sheath onto her boyfriend’s dick without hurting his feelings will be a bit tricky,” said Matthew Nolan of OhJoySexToy.com. “No matter their size, lads around the world are brought up with dick insecurities. Having said that, a dick sheath isn’t the worst thing in the world for her to bring to the table: It involves her boyfriend as a participant, and it keeps his dick in the loop.”
Matthew and his partner, Erika Moen, create an informative, subversive, and entertaining weekly comic that focuses on the world of sex – from sex-toy reviews to interviews with people in the sex industry to sharing sex-education lessons. They research and write the text together, and Erika does all the drawing. Why comics?
“Sex education is typically very dry,” said Erika. “A wall of text about abstract concepts and then some alien diagrams – it’s really hard to relate that information to your own body. Comics are especially well equipped to teach people about their bodies, sexual options and reproductive choices because they combine images and text together, making subjects approachable and visually appealing. ”
In a recent comic, Matthew gave cock sheaths a try. Cock sheaths – for those of you who haven’t visited a sex-toy shop in a while – are a popular new sex toy that allows an average dude to be huge, and a huge dude to be ridiculous. They’re pliable-but-firm hollow dildos that a guy wears over his dick. The dude slides his hard, lubed-up dick inside the sheath, pulls his balls through a ring at the base that prevents the sheath from sliding off, and bangs away at his partner’s hole(s) like a porn star. That’s the theory anyway.
“The dick sheaths I tried weren’t the greatest thing for my partner and me,” said Matthew. “They dull the senses and turn your dick into an unwieldy mess. Despite owning a few, my preference is to use a big dildo on my partner instead of wearing a dick sheath.”
But if it’s a dick sheath you want, SLAM, Matthew has some advice about how to get one.
“SLAM should suggest going sex-toy shopping with her boyfriend,” said Matthew. “She could tell her boyfriend she’s in a filthy mood and fancies something big. She should put the emphasis on wanting him to give her some big-toy fucking and add that this is something that you can both do together. Have him help pick out different toys while saying encouraging things like ‘Ooohh, wouldn’t you like to fuck me with this one?’ When you come across the cock sheath, add it to your cart explaining that it would be a perfect sex-toy solution for your mood.”
I’m going to break in here for a second: If you feel like your boyfriend might have a meltdown about you wanting something huge, head to the sex-toy shop without an agenda and see how he reacts to the cock sheaths. If he recoils, you might wanna steer him over to the body paints and bondage. But if he seems intrigued and not threatened, ask him how he’d feel about fucking you with one, without seeming too hugely invested in being fucked by one of those yourself.
And what do you do if you manage to leave the sex-toy store with a cock sheath and a boyfriend whose ego is still intact?
“Be encouraging about enjoying the extra size and having him fuck you with toys,” said Matthew. “When it comes to the sheath, keep it jovial – laugh about it and tell him he’s sexy. A fun atmosphere can help alleviate insecurities.”
Go to OhJoySexToy.com to see examples of Erika and Matthew’s work. Follow them on Twitter at @PlusTenStrength and @ErikaMoen.

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