Published: July 3, 2013
I’m a 24-year-old woman who just ended a five-year relationship. It sucked. I cried. It was my first breakup, so I’ve felt totally insane for the last three months. Now I’m in the dating world, and I go out with people only to find that we have no physical chemistry. My mother says, “You’re just picky.” How am I supposed to enter my slutty years if I rarely have a physical connection with someone? I’m starting to think I’m broken; the last few years, I’ve felt pretty cut off from my sexuality. I feel like I formed some sort of sexual block. Is there a pill for this? How do I break the dam?
Bring Lass Overtly Clearer Knowledge
Here’s how you break the dam: You get high, you consume porn (text or vid) and you read Daniel Bergner’s book What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire. (“It should be read by every woman on earth,” Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon writes. “You want a female Viagra? This book is as close as we have to it.”) Don’t do all three at once, of course, lest you grind the gears off your sex gaskets. But do all three, over a long weekend, and try to relax and listen to your body and allow your erotic imagination to speak to you.
And give yourself a break, BLOCK. Some folks need more than three months to bounce back after ending a five-year relationship. Don’t force yourself to date right now if you’re not ready. Get high instead, read Bergner and take in some erotica. And when you are ready to enter your slutty phase, BLOCK, hang on to your pickiness. In my experience, picky people are likelier to enjoy their slutty phases and likelier to survive them.
I have some friends in the Pacific Northwest. They told me that they sometimes go “clam digging” for their dinner. This phrase has to have a filthy double meaning. It HAS to! But Urban Dictionary had nothin’. Any ideas?
Curious Lad Asking Master Savage
A filthy double meaning did leap instantly to mind, CLAMS, but it involves so unspeakable a violation that squeamish and/or sensitive readers might wanna skip to the next letter (or read some other advice column). Here goes: “Clam digging” is something you can find necrophiliacs who are into chicks doing with shovels in graveyards in the middle of the night. Moving on …
I’m a newly aware bicurious woman newly wed to the man of my dreams. Before our wedding, I hooked up with my first lady-crush, and now I’ve opened a Pandora’s box of potential threesomes. My husband is supportive and enjoys the bonus of getting to fulfill all of his MFF fantasies. In addition, my cute (OK, jaw-dropping) gay male friend is attracted to my husband, and my husband is so confidently straight and GGG that he says he would consider engaging in a make-out romp with my gay friend for my pleasure. One of my all-time fantasies has been a bi MMF, so this situation presents itself as another Pandora’s box that I don’t know if I should open. Am I getting in over my head?
Married Life Is Awesome
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