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COLUMN

Savage Love

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I have a mentally disabled cousin who I haven't figured out how to help. He’s lived for more than 40 years in the same nursing home in a small, conservative town. His mental age is about 8, there are other mental-illness issues, and he has some physical problems. He is now in his late 60s. He has always enjoyed dressing up as a woman, but given that he’s in a Christian nursing home, he must keep it fairly secret. He periodically calls me to tell me about a dress he’s purchased or his monthly therapy sessions where he’s permitted to dress up, and I’m uncomfortable with the sexual vibe of the conversations. I would like him to have a sexual outlet, but one that doesn’t involve me. Any ideas?
She Knows It’s Really Tough

Nope.
And staging some sort of intervention now – well, the effort seems about four decades late. Even if you could find a new living situation for your cousin, he doesn’t want to move. He seems to like where he lives, he gets to buy himself dresses, and he gets to dress up once in a while. He’d probably be happier if he didn’t have to keep his dresses secret, but things could be much, much worse.

We’re a straight couple, and my boyfriend and I love playing with his butt. I love being able to ride him when he has a butt plug in, but it always falls out during sex. Is there something we can do?
Plug leaves us guessing

What you need is a bigger butt plug. The circumference of the widest part of the butt plug (the part that goes in his ass) needs to be four or five times greater than the circumference of the narrow part of the butt plug (the part his sphincters grip). If the widest part of your butt plug isn’t much wider than the narrow part, that butt plug will fly out of your boyfriend’s ass every time. Bigger butt plugs look intimidating – especially for straight boys – but the extra physical and emotional effort required to get a bigger butt plug in a straight boy’s ass … well, that shit pays off in the end.

My son is 13. After I caught him with porn on his smartphone, I replaced it with a dumb phone and limited his access to the Internet at home. He has asked me to buy him a Playboy. I need to play this right. I want him to come to me to talk about sex, but a mom buying her son porn doesn’t seem OK. If I don’t buy him a magazine, he will seek porn on the non-parent-regulated Internet. If I do purchase porn for him, doesn’t that just encourage him to walk the path of porn?
Baffled By Teenaged Boys

If your son wants old-fashioned, pre-Internet porn, he can acquire it in the old-fashioned, pre-Internet manner: He can get his ass to a bodega or a convenience store or a truck stop and steal some porn mags.

I am one of those straight girls who like to make out with other girls when I’m drunk. It’s fun to get the attention of men by kissing girls! What’s so wrong with that? Why do so many lesbians and bi women disparage this behavior? I guess it could be said that my behavior encourages men to objectify women who kiss other women. But I feel like that shouldn’t be on me! I am just an adult having sexy fun with other consenting adults!
Drunk Straight Girl

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