Published: May 8, 2013
My wife and I are bi and monogamish, and we occasionally invite other swell guys, girls and couples into our bedroom. We’re crazy liberal hippies, and thus far have fooled around exclusively with similar folks. It’s difficult at the best of times to find couples where both members are bi, so when we find one, we tend to pursue them with wild abandon. We’ve recently been corresponding with a duo that seems perfect in every regard (bi, hot, intelligent). Our problem: In their last email, they labeled themselves as “compassionate conservatives,” which set off our socially progressive warning bells. Do we move on? Or do we keep politics off the table and go for it? Friends don’t let friends fuck Republicans, right?
Bisexual But Bipartisan?
I used to take a hard line on sleeping with conservatives – friends don’t let friends fuck Republicans and all that – but I’ve evolved. Today I support sleeping with conservatives … because someone has to fuck some sense into ’em. Might as well be you guys.
I have an ethical dilemma. I’m an escort and a pro Domme. I have a ridiculous sex drive (it’s silly how much sex I want to have!) and I’m single. I’m also queer. But lately I find myself mostly hooking up with dudes for two reasons: No. 1, I think it’s important to also have nontransactional sex with dudes. No. 2, it’s easier to have casual sex with dudes because I rarely get emotionally attached to dudes. Like almost never. If I use protection with these dudes, and I’m getting tested every three months, do I owe these one-time players the truth about what I do for a living?
Sexworker Troubled Intellectually
People who enjoy hooking up with strangers – people who have casual one-night stands with people they don’t know and may not see again – should go into those hookups knowing these two things:
No. 1: The person they’re hooking up with has probably done this before. As that’s the case, having sex in this context – i.e., in the context of a sleazy and fun hookup – carries a higher degree of STI risk than having sex in the context of, say, a committed relationship. Because duh.
No. 2: They need to take all reasonable precautions while bearing in mind that condoms, even when used correctly, do not provide 100 percent protection.
As long as you’re using protection/condoms, you’re doing right by your one-night stands. Your dudes are entitled to consideration and a reasonable concern for their well-being, and it sounds like they’re getting both. They are not entitled to your complete sexual history or your work résumé. If someone isn’t comfortable with the risks inherent in casual sex hat person needs to inquire as to whether the person they’ve just picked up is a sex worker or an idiot. The onus is on them.
This week on the Savage Lovecast: drag queens in Alabama, accidental anal skewering and unwelcome drunk bachelorettes;
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