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COLUMN

Savage Love

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I’m a 20-year-old full-time collegestudent studying the wonderful world of engineering. I work two jobs and participate in athletics. As you can imagine, with all of this going on, I have little time to myself, let alone time to spend finding someone to share that precious time with. But I recently became what you would call “involved” with a member of the faculty. He’s 20 years older than I am, and we have so much in common that it should be illegal! Should I cut the cord now? Or should I continue enjoying the hottest, sweetest, most thoughtful person I’ve ever met?
Sincerely Smitten Student Hesitates

Enjoy.
And if your hot, sweet, thoughtful faculty member honors the Campsite Rule, i.e., he leaves you in better shape than he found you (no diseases, no unplanned pregnancies, no avoidable drama/trauma), you are in turn obligated to honor the Tea and Sympathy Rule, i.e., when you speak of this in future years – and you will – you will be kind (no nuttiness, no anger that a relationship that was unlikely to work out long-term didn’t wind up turning into an LTR, no sabotaging his academic career by naming names and institutions in a tell-all post on FuckedMyProf.tumblr.com). Have fun.

You’ve given a lot of great advice, Dan,but I have to take issue with your recommendation to Socially Interactive Sister. She was thinking about hiring someone to relieve her 22-year-old brother of his virginity. Why would you recommend a sex worker when you could recommend the services of a professional surrogate-partner therapist? These professionals work with licensed sex therapists and have training in order to work therapeutically with folks just like SIS’s brother. I don’t doubt that many sex workers have dealt with these situations, and I’m sure many are good at it, but surrogate partner therapists receive training within a curriculum designed for people like SIS’s brother and others. Additionally, you incorrectly associate sex work with the movie The Sessions, which clearly deals with surrogate-partner therapy. Sex work and surrogate-partner therapy are not the same. This will make it more difficult for those of us working in this field who are trying to legitimize surrogate-partner therapy. I have no issue with sex work, but SPT is truly different. You can find more info at surrogatetherapy.org.
Advocate For Surrogate Partner Therapy

Thanks for sharing, AFSPT.

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