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COLUMN

Savage Love

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Something bad is going to happen – believe it. Sooner or later, your new squeeze will do something bad and you'll get hurt. Hopefully the bad that happens won't be as bad as the bad you experienced in the past relationships – no physical or emotional violence, no unforgivable betrayals, nothing that requires you to end this relationship – but your new partner will behave badly toward you at some point. And you will behave badly toward your new partner. There's some bad even in the best relationships. You'll experience less dread if you can accept that.

Can a successful long-term relationship form if the other person can never admit they're wrong?

Anyone who's ever been in a successful long-term relationship knows that both parties have to be able to admit that they're wrong – sometimes you have to admit you're wrong even when you know you're not. So the answer is "no."

How and when is it good/best to use whipped cream?

We've covered this before: Whipped cream is NOT A SEX TOY. Two minutes after you put it on your nipples – or two minutes after you fill your belly button or ass crack or armpits with it – you begin to smell like baby puke. It's not sexy. Save the whipped cream for your ice cream, and if you want to lick something off your partner, work up a sweat and lick that off 'em.

My friends and I have a weekly tradition where we read your column aloud, wear bathrobes and drink whiskey. What would you add to this already awesome ritual?

Remote-control vibrating butt plugs, of course, each one set to go off at a different time.

Do you have any bisexual friends?

"Dan has bisexual friends, and I am one of them," says Eric Olalde, a yogi, a hottie and a close friend who is bisexual. "He has seen me shift between male and female partners at different stages of my life and has even made brunch for me and my ex-girlfriend. Dan has never shown me anything but support and true friendship."
We have one more letter this week. It wasn't a question asked at the talk in Madison, but it does have a Madison connection

I met you briefly in Madison, Wis., a long time ago. As a physician, I'm usually impressed with your savvy advice and medical accuracy. And your It Gets Better Project is a major contribution to the mental and physical health of adolescents and young adults.
Now for a quick medical comment: I agree with your suggestion that doctors give "flared-base" advice to patients who use anal toys. But there's a simple way for a person who didn't get that advice to remove an object that is stuck in the rectum. They should squat – do a deep-knee bend – stay still, relax, breathe and voilà! The item will pop out onto the floor. No probing or uncomfortable procedure necessary.
After learning about this technique from a very wise woman physician (who recalled the history of women giving birth in that position and applied the same principle to relaxing the rectal muscles), I used this with young adult patients who would come to my clinic in an embarrassing predicament. The result was simple and comfortable for both patient and physician. Feel free to pass this advice on to others who might benefit!
Best Advice Simplifies Exit

Thanks for sharing, BASE!

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