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COLUMN

Savage Love

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You once pointed out that you only heard from readers when their attempts to be GGG backfired. If something went wrong, you got a letter. But when an effort to be GGG didn't cause a problem, no one wrote you. And this was leading other readers to conclude that being GGG is always a risky mistake. So I thought I'd write to tell you that nothing went wrong after I was GGG for my girlfriend (we had sex in a series of semipublic places) and she was GGG for me (she arranged a small CFNM party at which I was the NM). We are being GGG and all is well with us, Dan, and we wanted to thank you for giving us the tools that we needed to talk about this stuff!
Clamoring About My Experience
s

Thanks for sharing, CAME.

I have a problem with a guy I like and his porn habits. I know you've answered a lot of questions about porn, but I don't think you've answered one like mine. The problem is I used to be his porn. I work part-time as a cam girl. He was one of my regular customers. I came to like him as a human being, and he seemed to feel the same about me. Last summer, we actually got a chance to meet in person. It was fucking amazing! Since then, we've continued playing online, although for free now, because it feels unethical to charge someone who I really like. We've also tossed around the idea of another visit. So here's the problem: He's still paying other cam girls, and it makes me upset. I don't mind that he looks at porn, Dan. I don't even mind that he pays for live interactive porn. There are plenty of times when he's horny but I'm asleep (we live in
different time zones) or I'm at my other job, and I don't care what he does then. The thing is, I feel I should be the one he plays with when we're both awake and online at the same time. But just as often, when we are both awake and online, he's busy with other cam girls. It makes me feel ignored and neglected.
Am I overreacting? Should I ask to be prioritized over porn? And how can I bring up this subject? I don't want to tell him that he can't jerk off or insist that I have to be at the center of everything he thinks about sexually, but feeling constantly sidelined isn't okay either. And frankly, it makes me feel like a chump for not charging him anymore.
Clever Acronym Missing

Monitoring this guy's porn habits seems like a waste of time and emotional energy, CAM, considering that he's not your boyfriend, you've only met in person on one occasion, you don't live in the same time zone and a second meeting is just an idea that's being "tossed around." You're not in a relationship with him and, really, would you wanna be? I'm pro-porn and I'm pro-porn-cam girls, but a guy who invests the amount of time, money and emotional energy in porn that Mr. Not Your Boyfriend does, well, he hardly seems like decent relationship material.
But you've got nothing to lose – literally nothing – so go ahead and ask him to prioritize you over porn, and to prioritize the free porn you're offering him over the porn he's still paying for, and see what he says. If you don't like what you hear, CAM, if he makes it clear that he doesn't feel about you the same way that you feel about him, then you should definitely start charging him agai
n.

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