Published: August 8, 2012
DEAR READERS: I'm on vacation for the next two weeks. This week's column features three recent Savage Love Letters of the Day. (The SLLOTD goes out to folks who have the Savage Love app for iPhone and Android.) I hope everyone is having a great summer, and I'll see you in two weeks. – Dan
I'm 16 and I like my friend's mom who is 35.
She's married and has two kids. But I really like her. What should I do?
Help One Really Needy Youth
Here's what you shouldn't do: You shouldn't say anything – not to your friend, not to your friend's mother – and you certainly shouldn't try anything.
Here's what you should do: You should masturbate about your friend's mom just as much as you like – and you should take the advice I gave another horny 16-year-old boy a couple of months back (this one happened to be gay, but the advice still applies):
"Worry less about getting your 16-year-old self laid and more about getting your 20-year-old self laid. Get out of the house and do shit, get books and read shit, volunteer for a political organization and change shit. You'll have more boys to choose from in a few years and be a more interesting, informed and attractive guy thanks to all that doing, reading and volunteering. Beat off in the interim, of course, but remember to vary your masturbatory routine (left hand, right hand; firm grip, soft touch; with toys, without; lots of lube, just a drop; etc.) and try to cultivate your own erotic imagination. (Translation: Don't jerk off to Internet porn exclusively; use your imagination once in a while.)"
Lots of straight boys your age have crushes on their friends' mothers, and lots of men had the same kind of crush at your age. It's a great fantasy, HORNY, one that fuels entire porn genres. But the potential benefits – a few orgasms for you and maybe one for your friend's mom (if you're any good at this sex stuff, and, at 16, you most certainly are not any good at this sex stuff … yet! You will be one day!) – aren't worth the potential costs. A destroyed friendship, a broken family and, depending on age-of-consent laws where you live, a long prison term for your friend's mom – those are high prices to pay for a few lousy orgasms. And that's assuming your friend's mom is even interested, which she almost certainly is not.
So beat off about her to your part's content. Then go do shit, go read shit and go volunteer and change shit. You'll meet girls, some closer to your own age and you'll be a more interesting, fuckable dude for all that doing, reading and changing.
I have a boyfriend of two years. At the beginning of our relationship, I caught him cheating on me. Not physically cheating, but he was talking to girls and they would send him pics. We worked everything out and now we trust each other. But a few weeks ago, I caught him watching porn. He doesn't know. It doesn't bother me that much, but I was wondering if it could lead to him cheating on me again?
Sent From The Savage Love App For iPhone
> Email Dan Savage