Published: August 2, 2012
If your friends – yours and/or his – are making passes at your boyfriend, SAP, then you have a right to be angry. Good gay etiquette dictates that friends either refrain from making passes at insanely attractive guys who have boyfriends or that they make passes at the insanely attractive guy and his boyfriend. If your friends are making the passes at your boyfriend only, or they're making passes at him and/or you when they know your relationship is exclusive, then you and your boyfriend need to let your disrespectful and/or clueless friends know that they're being huge assholes.
But there's not much you can do about strangers making passes at your boyfriend, SAP, particularly if your boyfriend enjoys the attention – and it sure sounds like he does.
You've got a hot boyfriend, and that has its perks. But it has drawbacks, too. Putting up with other people innocently hitting on your boyfriend – innocent because they don't know your boyfriend is partnered, SAP, and because your boyfriend isn't exactly exuding a fuck off vibe – is the price you'll have to pay to be with this insanely attractive guy. Willing yourself to take these passes and your boyfriend's clear enjoyment of them in stride is a wiser course than allowing something that's outside your control to become an ongoing source of conflict in your relationship.
Staying with friends of friends in their guest suite and discovered a "funnel gag" sitting on the floor next to the bed. (I took a picture and did a Google Images search!) My best guess is that it fell there after its last "use," as it was on the side of the bed nearest the wall and it could have been overlooked during cleanup. Do I say something? What's the etiquette in a situation like this? What do people use these things for?!?
Guest Asks Graciously
People don't use them to water stubborn plants, GAG.
And the proper etiquette in a situation like this is to ignore the mislaid sex toy. Leave the gag where you found it and say nothing about it to your hosts, your mutual friend or any syndicated sex-advice columnists. Whether your hosts stumble over the gag after your visit or realize it's missing and slip into their guest suite to retrieve it during your visit, your discretion will allow your hosts to tell themselves that you didn't discover it.
I'm a senior in college and a lesbian, and I have a question about strap-on etiquette. My previous girlfriend and I bought one together, and I really enjoyed being on the receiving end of it. When we broke up, she took it since she felt like she had "bonded" with it. My current GF and I have been thinking of getting one, but I'm not sure how I feel about another joint purchase. I like her a lot, but I don't know if our relationship will last after I graduate next spring, and the prospect of having to get a new toy every time I break up with someone isn't appealing. Would it be reasonable, as a generally receptive partner, to buy a strap-on that I can bond with and ask future partners to use it? Is it selfish to be thinking of the eventual end of a relationship when shopping for toys?
Seeking Toy-Related Advice Pronto
A strap-on isn't a funnel gag, STRAP. By which I mean to say …
Even if a strap-on is a joint purchase, even if it was purchased for the pleasure of the person "on the receiving end," it's not uncommon for the wearer of a particular strap-on – the person on the giving end – to come to regard the strap-on as an extension of her body and bond with it. Such was the case with your ex. And even if your ex had allowed you to keep that strap-on, STRAP, odds are good that your new girlfriend would also have seen that old strap-on as an extension of your ex's body and insisted on it being replaced.
My advice: Go halfsies on a new strap-on – on the harness and the dildo – and one or two other sex toys of comparable value and utility. If the relationship ends, your new ex-girlfriend keeps the strap-on, you keep the funnel gag.
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