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COLUMN

Savage Love

I had a threesome with my husband and another woman because I am GGG

And once a nervous wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend sees with their own eyes that their ground rules are going to be respected – once they see that their partners can mess around with someone else without forgetting who matters to them most – those ground rules tend to become less restrictive.

But that’s not gonna happen for you now, you stupid motherfucker, because you couldn’t honor your wife’s ground rules during your first – and most likely last – threesome. You violated her, you violated her trust, and you screwed yourself out of future sexual adventures. If you ever hope to have another threesome, or to realize some other sexual fantasy, or if your wife has a sexual fantasy that she would like to realize (one that you might enjoy helping her realize), you’re going to need to offer her a plausible explanation and an abject apology.

I’m in love. But my boyfriend of morethan a year is REALLY into the fantasy of an MFF threesome. I’m as GGG as girls get, but I’m one of those rare types who was sexually abused by an adult woman when I was a young girl. He knows this. And though I was a bit slow telling him, just because it’s so fucking hard to talk about, he knows that ever since I realized that I was attracted to other women, I’ve felt like a guilty pervert. Thanks to copious amounts of alcohol, I’ve gotten about as far with another girl as a stereotypical college student, but the abuse still haunts me. (And, yes, I go to therapy when I can afford it.)

My question is this: If I may never be capable of fulfilling his fantasy by bringing another chick into our bed, am I an asshole for wanting to remain in an LTR with this guy? He knows I’m into women and that I would like to explore that somehow, eventually, but I don’t know if he gets how hard that could actually be for me. I have no idea how to even broach this subject with him, as I’ve described it to you. Should I even try? Should I set him free?

Whatever Your Intern Can Come Up With

First, I’m so sorry about the sexual abuse you suffered. But I would urge you to prioritize therapy over, say, a third and fourth round of drinks. Fewer copious-amounts-of-alcohol-enabled bisexual experiences in the short run, with less money going to booze and more going to therapy, may lead to more – and happier, and easier-to-recall – bisexual experiences in the long run.

As for the boyfriend, just tell him that, due to your history, an MFF threesome is not something you would be able to do for or with him anytime soon. If going without MFF threesomes for the foreseeable future is a price of admission that he’s willing to pay to be with you, do him the honor of letting him pay it.

I’m a straight woman who enjoys gayporn and writes slash fiction. Seeing my husband make love to another man is my biggest fantasy of all, but he insists that it will never happen. He did agree to an MMF threesome, but only if he didn’t have to do anything with the other man. I found a guy in a city we are visiting in three weeks. My husband doesn’t know this guy is bisexual and into him. (He has seen pictures of my husband.) I’m hoping that my husband will feel “inspired” once “things” are under way. What’s the best strategy for getting my husband –

She Lusts After Sexy Homos

Sorry to cut you off there, SLASH, but I don’t need to read the rest of your letter. DO NOT spring a bisexual-and-into-him third on your husband. DO NOT violate your husband’s ground rules. DO NOT be a stupid motherfucker.

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