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COLUMN

Savage Love

I headed north last week to do Savage Love Live

–Fun Unicorn Completes Kinksters

Another perceived-to-be-monogamous couple that actually isn’t monogamous! Welcome to the monogamish club, FUCK!

My husband wants to be spanked. This is beyond my comfort zone. What can I do to get over this apprehension? Practice on the dogs and cats?

–Can’t Go There

A woman who spanks her dogs and cats goes to actual jail, but a woman who spanks her husband goes to GGG heaven. But if you simply can’t get over your apprehension, outsource those spankings to your friendly local professional dominant.

I recently broke off a relationship aftermy female partner demanded that I get a circumcision. I told her I would get one if she did. She told me I was a sexist asshole. I don’t see where she gets off asking me to mutilate myself if she won’t. Am I wrong?

–Uncut About Anchorage

You weren’t wrong to refuse to cut yourself for her, but you were wrong to equate “female circumcision” with male circumcision. A woman who’s been “circumcised” – a woman who has been subjected to genital mutilation – has had her clit cut off. The male equivalent would be the removal of the head of the cock, not the foreskin.

With all the stress of jobs, relationships, kids, etc., what’s your advice for romance and great sex when you’re overwhelmed by life?

–Jack And Jill

My advice is to give up on great sex. Not forever, but for now. Make time for some good-not-great, low-stakes, low-pressure, undemanding mutual masturbation sessions. Lie down together and get off while dirty talking about the truly great marathon sex sessions you’re gonna have once your stress levels drop. Then do it!

You have heard that an ordinance toprotect LGBT people from being evicted or fired will be up for a vote in Anchorage soon. Well, I am a bi woman in a het relationship who works in an office where the environment is akin to the Fellowship of the Bros. Recently, I attended a pride event where a coworker saw me act in a very non-hetero way. I’m afraid this person will out me and I will be harassed at best and fired at worst. What can I do?

–Unsafe At Work

Not much, sadly. LGBT people are not protected under the City of Anchorage’s antidiscrimination statutes. There have been three attempts to add protections for LGBT people to the law; all three failed after “Christian” activists protested, lied, demagogued, bullied mayors and lied some more.

One Anchorage – a coalition of progressive organizations – gathered enough signatures to put a equal rights initiative on the ballot in Anchorage. The vote is April 3, and passing Proposition 5 will make it illegal to discriminate against LGBT people in housing, public accommodation, employment and credit.

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