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Savage Love

>I am writing to thank you. I remember reading your definition of santorum

I am writing to thank you. I rememberreading your definition of “santorum” – “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” – when it first appeared. I remember thinking it was a cute way to make fun of a dickhead politician. I never thought it would go this far. But after Iowa, Rick Santorum is in the spotlight again. And so is that frothy mixture. And that’s fucking awesome.

Jeff In Wisconsin

Don’t thank me. Thank Rick Santorum for making his bigotry crystal clear in a 2003 interview with the Associated Press. Santorum equated consensual gay sex with child rape and dog fucking, he stated that birth control should be illegal, he argued that states should be able to arrest, prosecute and imprison people – gay and straight – for private, consensual sex acts.

Thank the Savage Love readers who selected “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” from a crowded field of equally repulsive candidates.

I did my part: I counted the ballots, I created a website (spreadingsantorum.com) that eight years later remains the number one return when you google “Santorum.” But if it weren’t for my creative, kinky and hilarious readers, an otherwise distressing news cycle would not have been leavened by such unintentionally hilarious headlines as “Santorum Surges from Behind,” “Santorum Runs Hard” and “Romney Squeezes Out Santorum.”

Dan Savage is one sick, pathetic excusefor a human being. Truly a sad piece of sh*t. Especially trying to “insert himself” – pun intended – into the GOP presidential race.

Savage Isn’t Completely Kind

We redefined “santorum” back in 2003, SICK, long before Santorum was running for president. So it would be more accurate to say that the GOP presidential race has inserted itself into me, not the other way around. And, gosh, I hope there isn’t any santorum on the GOP presidential race when it pulls out of me – that would be so embarrassing!

Also embarrassing: Elise Foley’s gushing profile of Elizabeth Santorum, Rick’s adult daughter, that appeared on the Huffington Post before the Iowa caucuses.

“It is tough [being] a young surrogate for a candidate/father clinging to an older worldview,” Foley writes. “Her father’s stance on same-sex marriage and gay rights, in particular, has caused some friction from non-supporters. ‘It’s a policy thing,’ [Elizabeth Santorum] said of gay marriage. … Opposed to same-sex marriage herself, Elizabeth said she has gay friends who support her father’s candidacy based on his economic and family platforms.”

Yeah, it’s tough out there for a ’phobe – and it’s getting tougher all the time. Rick Santorum was nearly booed off a stage in New Hampshire last week after he insisted that legalizing gay marriage would lead to the legalization of polygamous marriage. (The same argument was made against legalizing interracial marriage – and here we are, 44 years after the Supreme Court declared laws against interracial marriage to be unconstitutional, and Tiger Woods can marry only one busted Olive Garden hostess at a time.)

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