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COLUMN

Savage Love

I'm an evangelical Christian in a country where that is not a political statement

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I’m a 26-year-old woman who liveswith two other women around the same age. My roommate G has a boyfriend. She introduced me to two of her guy friends. This past weekend, I went barhopping with the two guys. Long story short, I slept with one of the guys. After I told my roommates about that night, G revealed that she had slept with the guy before. Now G is upset with me. I would like to sleep with this guy again, and I don’t feel like G is right to make me feel like crap or make this all about her. Any thoughts?

Had Some Fun

You know that scene at the end of Inglourious Basterds when Brad Pitt’s Nazi-killin’ character pulls out a huge knife and carves a swastika into the forehead of the one Nazi he isn’t allowed to kill, because he wants everyone to know the dude was a Nazi even after the war? Unless your friend G is willing to do something similar – carve her initials into the forehead of every rando dude she fucks – she can’t complain when a friend accidentally hooks up with a guy she hooked up with two years, two months, two days or two hours ago.

G is not right to make you feel like crap, HSF, and I recommend that you fuck the shit out of this guy at least two more times to drive that point home.

The wife and I regularly attend astraight sex club here in Texas. There’s another couple that comes to the parties. They’re very attractive. They get naked, they have sex with each other, but they don’t play with others. Basically, they hang out with swingers, but they don’t swing themselves. We think that amounts to prick- and twat-tease behavior on their parts. Do we have a legit beef?

Husband And Wife Together

No, HAWT, you don’t.

The website for the sex club you attend emphasizes more than once that couples who attend are not obligated to swing or play with others. It would be unfair to extend an invite like that – come and enjoy the sexually charged atmosphere, play only with each other or not at all, it’s all good! – and then slap a “prick- and twat-tease” label on a couple who comes and doesn’t play with others.

And just because this couple isn’t swinging today, HAWT, doesn’t mean they won’t be swinging someday. Perhaps after they see that swingers really do respect their limits – once they’ve seen, again and again, that they’re not going to be pressured into doing anything they’re not ready to do – they’ll become comfortable enough to start playing with others. Glaring at this hot couple from across the room will only serve to delay the arrival of that happy day.

Speaking of sex clubs: Last week the Portland Press Herald reported about the closure of a club in Sanford, Maine, where opposite-sex-attracted adults were having opposite-sex sex in a building that was – THINK OF THE CHILDREN – kinda close to a public library that wasn’t open when opposite-sex-attracted adults were gathering to indulge their sick opposite-sex desires. But, you know, still! Adults were having sex in a place that was kinda close to a place where children who don’t have access to the Internet at home sometimes go to “read”!

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