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COLUMN

Savage Love

I'm a college freshman.

Photo: , License: N/A


Look, CU, you’re only 18. You’ve got time. But what you’re going to realize, in not too much more time, is that dating and finding love – or even just sex – inside the closet is nearly impossible. You can remain in the closet and keep your business secret, but you won’t have much of a life in there. And when you realize that, you’ll come out. First to a friend or two, then to your family, then to everyone. And once you’re all the way out, you’ll find that the guys you’ve been focusing on – the “too out” guys – aren’t the only gay guys out there. Just some of the best.

I know it’s hard. But you can do it. All it takes is opening your mouth and saying the words.

Last night, I was blowing a malefriend. When I glanced up from “my work,” I saw that he was texting someone. I didn’t say anything and finished the job, but I was offended. Another friend says I should’ve mentioned it because he might have been taking a picture. At the very least, what he did was rude. Any insight from you?

When Blowing Blows

He was taking pictures or making a video and may have been emailing pics/vids to his buddies in real time – don’t be an idiot, WBB – and you should’ve snatched that camera from his hand and stuffed it so far up his ass you could’ve sent yourself a picture of the roof of his mouth. Please cut this out and tape it to the mirror in your bathroom: Any girl who’s uninhibited enough to blow a “friend” has to be uninhibited enough to blow up at that friend if she spots him taking sex pictures without her consent.

I’m a straight male, age 26. I’ve been with my girlfriend for seven years. We’re lucky in that we have a group of friends who are into having sex with us. My question is, what is the proper etiquette for condom use between my girlfriend and me when others are present? We don’t use condoms when we’re alone, so we haven’t been using condoms when we’re in front of others. They are using them, and I use them if I have intercourse with another girl, so the risk for the two of us intuitively seems minimal. Is there anything we should be concerned about?

Group-Sex Rookie

If you and your girlfriend have been tested and you’re “fluid bonded” (ugh! That term!) and you’re not having sex in front of strangers at, say, a swingers club or party where someone might misinterpret your condom-free sex as a license to initiate condom-free sex with randoms to whom they are not fluid bonded – preventing these worst-case/biggest-idiot scenarios is why many organized swingers clubs require condoms-for-all during group/public parties – then I don’t see why you and your girlfriend should have to use condoms with each other. So long as you’re careful about always putting on a condom when you need one, you’re both willing to assume the higher risks of acquiring one of the STIs that can be passed through skin-to-skin contact, and seeing you two go condom-free doesn’t make your friends so insanely jealous that they can’t get it up/on in your presence, then knock yourselves out.

This is in response to Messed-Up Junk. His junk sounds just like my junk! But my junk isn’t messed up. I’m a transman – so a two-inch “micropenis” actually sounds pretty damn good! Anyway, I wanted to say this to MUJ: Don’t let your junk stop you from hopping in bed with whomever you damn well please. I know lots of guys with junk like yours who get plenty of action from lots of fine ladies – and gents. As long as your junk gives you sexual pleasure and you are willing to pleasure your partner, there is much fun to be had. Yes, having a body that’s different can be terrifying. Be honest and upfront, but don’t let your head and your fear get in the way of hot sex.

Pumped-Up Junk

Thanks for sharing, PUJ.

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