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COLUMN

Savage Love

I went to Craigslist to look at the kinky shit people are into

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I’ve talked to my boyfriend about what I can do to make things better and what he likes, but he’s so bashful about the subject that I haven’t gotten any information save “I prefer the soles of your feet.” I have tried experimenting with things like footjobs (which didn’t work out very well because I had no idea what I was doing), and not knowing what else to do is frustrating.

I am currently studying in France until the end of August, and I want to surprise him with my newfound knowledge on his kink and new ways to get him off. What should I know? What would you recommend? And could you fill me in on proper footjob technique?

Seeking Orgasm Level Escalation

Male foot fetishists – the straight ones, anyway – will tell you that they react to feet the way most straight guys react to tits: They’re aroused by the sight of ’em, want to do stuff to ’em. Some wanna suck ’em, some wanna fuck ’em and some kinksters wanna safely, sanely and consensually “torture” ’em. In other words, SOLE, it’s different depending on who the woman with the tits in question happens to be fucking.

Same goes for foot fetishists: Some wanna suck ’em, some wanna fuck ’em, some wanna “torture” ’em. (That’s called “bastinado,” and it should only be done safely, sanely and consensually.) To find out what a particular foot fetishist enjoys most, you’ll have to ask the foot fetishist who’s enjoying your feet.

Your boyfriend probably finds it hard to talk about his fetish because he feels ashamed, needlessly so, and may have been rejected or mocked by previous partners when he opened up about his kink. (To avoid making his bashfulness worse, avoid using terms like “problem” and “ordeal” when discussing his kink.) It’s possible that the stuff you’re doing for him now – sticking your toes in his mouth while he fucks you, jerking him off while he fondles your feet – fulfills all of his fantasies. Keep doing what you’re doing now, SOLE, and as his confidence levels about his kink and your relationship both grow, he’ll become less bashful about discussing his kink.

As for a proper footjob: Bring the bottoms of your feet together and let him fuck the gap between your soles with his lubed-up cock, titty-fucking style, or have him lie on the floor while you sit on the edge of the bed and move the lubed-up sole of one of your feet back and forth across his cock until he blows his load. Have fun!

If you do end up having to redefine the word “rick,” which you threatened to do in your recent Funny or Die video, I have a suggestion: rick (v): to remove santorum orally. (“He was so grateful for the lay that he ricked his partner.”)

Happy To Help

P.S. Thanks for your efforts on behalf of equality for all.

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