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COLUMN

Savage Love

I suppose you are going to call me an asshole once you have finished reading my letter, but I hope you have some advice for me regardless.

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Kinky female here, age 26. For as long as I've been sexually active, I've been ridiculously turned on by guys with huge cocks. I love the way they look and feel in my hands and when they're inside me. This isn't to say that I'd date a guy purely on cock enormity alone; I wouldn't. But I'm not sure what to do about my current situation: I'm dating someone now who shares my same values - he's flamingly liberal and actually enjoys RuPaul's Drag Race - but we don't have the greatest sexual chemistry. Some of it's because he's pretty vanilla, although he's GGG, but a lot of it is that his dick is average. Sadly. Am I wrong to want a guy with the lower half of a horse? If so, can I retrain myself to accept, and even want, an average or below-average penis?

Female Phallophiliac

You don't say how long you've been dating this guy.

If you've been fucking him for a while and you still haven't found a groove, well, it might be best to move on. Liberalism and RuPaul's Drag Race are nice, but they're not enough to sustain a long-term romantic relationship.

But if you've been dating him a short time, and there's been some noticeable improvement on the chemistry front, you might want to stick around. Sometimes the chemistry is there and obvious from the start; sometimes chemistry kicks into gear after a few weeks or months. If you dig him - and it sounds like you do - then he's worth the investment of a little time. As for the little dick, well …

How big is his forearm?

I'm a partnered gay man who happens to have a small cock. When I was younger, I was often embarrassed, but I have gotten used to it and I can't change it and I know how to enjoy it now.

Among my friends, small-dick jokes are common. Not directed at me, but generic jokes and comments suggesting that guys with small dicks aren't real men, or should always bottom, or aren't worth dating. Stuff like that. And it has begun to make me feel much more self-conscious, especially since a couple of the guys I've heard making these jokes are intimately familiar with my cock. They know I'm small. It wasn't an issue, because they initiated the sex and wanted it more than once. I had a six-month fuck-buddy relationship with one of these guys and I topped him, so I know he didn't have an issue with my size.

So my dilemma is this: Is this just some self-esteem issue that I've been unaware of and need to deal with? Or should I say something, at least to the two guys I've had sex with? They are my closest friends and know that I struggled with my size when I was younger.

Sensitive Matters And Lessons Learned

You should definitely say something to the two ingrates you've had sex with, SMALL, and to anyone else who makes small-dick jokes in your presence. You don't have to volunteer to men you haven't fucked that you happen to have a small dick yourself. Just point out that in any group, there are going to be guys with smaller-than-average endowments and that it's just not cool to make those guys feel bad or inadequate - particularly when studies show that the partners of men with smaller-than-average dicks report higher levels of sexual satisfaction than people whose partners have larger-than- average dicks.

STRAIGHT RIGHTS WATCH: Indiana's right-wing Republican governor signed a bill into law that strips Planned Parenthood in that state of federal funds. This is going to lead to more abortions in Indiana, not fewer, but facts don't matter to right-wing shit-piles like Mitch "Social Issues Truce" Daniels. Now would be a good time to make a donation - even if all you can afford is a small, symbolic one - to Planned Parenthood of Indiana. Go to ppin.org, and click "Donate Now!" Then do everything you can to defeat the GOP in 2012.

mail@savagelove.net

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