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Savage Love

I came out as trans-something/genderqueer three years ago

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4) I have no idea. I'm almost 10 years older than you and I'm still battling my inner/giddy 
13-year-old.

I'm a hetero male in my late 30s, 
and this incident took place over a decade ago, but I've felt guilty about it ever since. I was at a convention and ended up having a one-night stand with a lovely woman. When I moved to go down on her, something I enjoy doing, she had a really, really, really smelly area. This woman did not have bad body odor in general; she had good hygiene. I managed to shift gears and brought her off with touch, but she pleaded with me to go down on her and I didn't. That made things awkward. I didn't say anything about the smell to her, because I know that many women are self-conscious about vaginal odor.

My sex etiquette question for you: If you're with someone, and suddenly you discover that her private parts - or his - smell like something with a passed expiration date, what is the best way to handle it? Excuse yourself from bed and grab a washcloth for them? Grit your teeth and go down anyway, in an effort to be GGG, no matter how ill it might make you?

Vagina Odors Inform Cautious Etiquette

I realize that women can be sensitive about any suggestion of unpleasant vaginal odor - we can blame those "feminine hygiene" commercials as well as all those inexperienced boyfriends who react negatively to a vagina's natural, healthy odor because they didn't get the "spice" part of the "sugar and spice" memo. But as a general rule: The people you invite to stick their nose in your crotch, twat, sack, crack, etc. are allowed to form opinions about how you smell down there and share them with you. While it's unpleasant to be told your crotch stanks, it's much more unpleasant to find your nose tucked in someone's stanky crotch.

As this woman had good personal hygiene overall, VOICE, it's unlikely that a washcloth would've solved the problem. She may have had bacterial vaginosis, the most common cause of rank vaginal odor, or an untreated case of chlamydia or gonorrhea. As hard as "Something's not right down here" is to hear, particularly for some women, you didn't do her any favors by not speaking up - sensitively and compassionately - because if she did have a medical issue, she needed to seek treatment.

I am an attractive, "normal" 24-year-old female who enjoys taking pictures of myself nude for my own personal use. I delete most pictures, but I keep some on my laptop for my viewing only. My snoop boyfriend found some pictures that were taken before we got together and blew up. He got in my face and called me a slut. He threatened my safety when I told him to leave. He demanded to know who took the pictures (cameras have timers!) and to whom I was sending them (myself!). I broke up with him, but then took him back. We have since talked about my "fetish"; he still does not like it and wants all the pictures erased. To be honest, these pictures are not all that important to me, but the way he reacted is. To me, he showed he does not trust me and never will.

Still Love Ur Thoughts

The pictures may not be important to you, SLUT, but your autonomy, your safety and your right to take enjoyment in and from your own damn body should be. So you're going to have to DTMFAST - dump the motherfucker a second time.

A boyfriend who's uncomfortable with your fetish is one thing. A boyfriend who's a threatening, insecure, controlling, irrational ASSHOLE about your fetish is another thing entirely. Someone invested in your sexual fulfillment, someone who loves and supports you, would not tell you to stop, or make accusations, or react like such a fucking baby. And someone who didn't have sexist hang-ups wouldn't make a distinction between the pictures you took after you met and the ones you had taken before you met. Beware of boys who freak out after stumbling onto what they believe to be evidence - even if they're wrong - that their girlfriends have been with other guys before them. They have issues.

mail@savagelove.net

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