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COLUMN

Free Will Astrology

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) “You know it’s Saturday when you are wiping off vodka stains from your face with a marshmallow,” testifies the woman who writes the Tumblr blog French Fries Absinthe Milkshakes. I really hope you don’t even come close to having an experience like that this week. But I’m worried that you will. I sense that you’re becoming allergic to caution. You may be subconsciously wishing to shed all decorum and renounce self-control. To be clear, there’s nothing inherently wrong with relaxing your guard. I hope you will indeed give up some of your high-stress vigilance and surrender a bit to life’s sweet chaos. Just please try to find a playful and safe and not-too-insane way to do so.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) What is the single best thing you could do to fulfill your number one desire? Is there a skill you should attain? A subject you should study? A special kind of experience you should seek or a shift in perspective you should initiate? This is a big opportunity. You have an excellent chance to identify the specific action you could take that will lead you to the next stage of your evolution. And if you do manage to figure out exactly what needs to be done, start doing it!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) When songwriters make a “slant rhyme,” the words they use don’t really rhyme, but they sound close enough alike to mimic a rhyme. An example occurs in “The Bad Touch,” a tune by the Bloodhound Gang: “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals / So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.” Technically, “mammals” doesn’t rhyme with “channel.” I suspect that in the coming week you will have experiences with metaphorical resemblances to slant rhymes. But as long you don’t fuss and fret about the inexactness you encounter, as long as you don’t demand that everything be precise and cleaned up, you will be entertained. Vow to see the so-called imperfections as soulful.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) “Almost,” writes novelist Joan Bauer. “It’s a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe.” I’m sure you know about that feeing yourself. Sometimes it has seemed like your entire life is composed of thousands of small almosts that add up to one gigantic almost. But I have good news: There is an excellent chance that in the next 14 to 16 weeks you will graduate from the endless and omnipresent almost; you will rise up and snatch a bold measure of completeness from out of the ever-shifting flow. And it all kicks into high gear now.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) One of the chapter titles in my most recent book is this: “Ever since I learned to see three sides to every story, I’m finding much better stories.” I’m recommending that you find a way to use this perspective as your own in the coming weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it’s crucial that you not get stuck in an oppositional mode. It would be both wrong and debilitating to believe that you must choose between one of two conflicting options. With that in mind, I will introduce you to a word you may not know: “trilemma.” It transcends a mere dilemma because it contains a third alternative.

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