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COLUMN

Free Will Astrology

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Two years into the War of 1812, British soldiers invaded Washington, D.C. They set fire to the White House and other government buildings. The flames raged out of control, spreading in all directions. The entire city was in danger of burning. In the nick of time, a fierce storm hit, producing a tornado and heavy rains. Most of the fires were extinguished. Battered by the weather, the British army retreated. America’s capital was saved. I predict that you will soon be the beneficiary of a somewhat less dramatic example of this series of events. Give thanks for the “lucky storm.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Like the legendary Most Interesting Man in the World who shills for Dos Equis beer, you will never step in gum on the sidewalk or lose a sock in the coming weeks. Your cereal will never get soggy; it’ll sit there, staying crispy, just for you. The pheromones you secrete will affect people miles away. You’ll have the power to pop open a piñata with the blink of your eye. If you take a Rorschach test, you’ll ace it.  Ghosts will sit around campfires telling stories about you. Cafes and restaurants may name sandwiches after you. If you so choose, you’ll be able to live vicariously through yourself. You will give your guardian angel a sense of security.

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