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COLUMN

Free Will Astrology

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) To prepare for her role in the film The Help, actress Jessica Chastain forced herself to gain 15 pounds. It was tough, because she normally follows a very healthy diet. The strategy that worked best was to ingest a lot of calorie-heavy, estrogen-rich ice cream made from soybeans. To be in alignment with current cosmic rhythms, it would make sense for you to fatten yourself up, too – metaphorically speaking, that is. I think you’d benefit from having more ballast, more gravitas. You need to be sure you’re well-anchored and not easy to push around. It’s nearly time to take an unshakable stand for what you care about most.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In a famous Monty Python sketch, a Hungarian tourist goes into a British tobacconist’s store to buy cigarettes. Since he doesn’t speak English, he consults a phrase book to find the right words. “My hovercraft is full of eels,” he tells the clerk, who’s not sure what he means. The tourist tries again: “Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?” Again, the clerk is confused. In the coming week, I foresee you having to deal with communications that are equally askew. Be patient, please. Try your best to figure out the intentions and meanings behind the odd messages you’re presented with. Your translating skills are at a peak, fortunately, as are your abilities to understand what other people – even fuzzy thinkers – are saying.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) There are modern Chinese painters who use oil paints on canvas to create near-perfect replicas of famous European masterpieces. So while the genuine copy of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” is worth more than $100 million, you can buy an excellent copy on the Internet for less than $100. If you’re faced with a comparable choice in the coming week – whether to go with a pricey original or a cheaper but good facsimile, I suggest you take the latter. For your current purposes, you just need what works, not what gives you prestige or bragging rights.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “It is a tremendous act of violence to begin anything,” said Sagittarian poet Rainer Maria Rilke. “I am not able to begin. I simply skip what should be the beginning.” I urge you to consider trying that approach yourself. Instead of worrying about how to launch your rebirth, maybe you should just dive into the middle of the new life you want for yourself. Avoid stewing interminably in the frustrating mysteries of the primal chaos so you can leap into the fun in full swing.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) The Golden Gate Bridge spans the place where San Francisco Bay meets the Pacific Ocean. It wasn’t easy to build. The water below is deep, wind-swept, beset with swirling currents, and on occasion shrouded with blinding fog. Recognizing its magnificence, the American Society of Civil Engineers calls the bridge one of the modern Wonders of the World. Strange to think, then, that the bridge was constructed between 1933 and 1937, during the height of the Great Depression. I suggest you make it your symbol of power for the coming weeks. Formulate a plan to begin working toward a triumph in the least successful part of your life.

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