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COLUMN

Free Will Astrology

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) In Japan you can buy Vaam, a sports energy drink that contains hornet saliva. It acquired a legendary reputation after Japanese marathon runner Naoko Takahashi said she used it to propel herself to a gold medal at the 2000 Olympics. Vaam’s creator, biochemist Takashi Abe, claims there is scientific evidence that it works as well for humans as it does for wasps, which fly as much as 70 miles a day. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the cosmos will be infusing you with a metaphorical version of hornet saliva in the coming weeks. You’ll have the power to go further and be stronger for longer periods of time.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) I gathered together a panel of renegade astrologers to investigate your imminent future. By a unanimous vote, they designated you, out of all the signs of the zodiac, as the one “Most Likely to Exceed the Boring Limitations of Good Taste,” as well as “Best Candidate to Slap the Conventional Wisdom Upside the Head.” That sounds fun. I hope you make good use of the freedom that those roles entail. By the way, the general consensus also suggested that you are primed to find valuable stuff in out-of-the-way borderlands or in off-limits haunts where no one else even wants to look.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You’re on course for a warm, wet, soft collision with the enigmas of the libido. I urge you to give yourself fully to the exploration, even if it stirs up feelings you have no names for. In my opinion, the best way to use your intelligence right now is to undertake a rigorous investigation into the heights and depths of your passion … to experiment with new guidelines for your instinctual nature … to make yourself extra receptive to the spiritual teachings available through erotic communion.

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