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COLUMN

Free Will Astrology

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Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Years ago I did a book tour that brought me to Eugene, Ore., where my sister and her husband and their daughter live. They came to my reading at a bookstore. My Virgo niece, Jasper, was seven years old at the time. I was surprised and delighted when she heckled me several times during my talk, always with funny and good-natured comments that added to the conviviality of the moment and entertained everyone in attendance. Who said Virgos are well-behaved to a fault? Your assignment this week is to be inspired by my niece: With wit and compassion, disrupt the orderly flow of any events that could use some smart agitation.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) "Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on," wrote author Samuel Butler. Ain't that the truth! You may be practicing as diligently as you can, gradually trying to master your complex instrument, but in the meantime your lack of expertise is plainly visible to anyone who's paying close attention. Luckily, not too many people pay really close attention, which gives you a significant amount of slack. Now and then, too, you have growth spurts – phases when your skills suddenly leap to a higher octave. The coming weeks should be one of these times for you.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In August and September, millions of seabirds known as Sooty Shearwaters leave their homes in New Zealand and travel thousands of miles to the Gulf of the Farallones, just off the coast of San Francisco. Why do they do it? The feeding is first-class; the tasty fish and squid they like are available in abundance. I suggest you consider a Sooty Shearwater-type quest in the coming weeks. The very best samples of the goodies you crave are located at a distance, either in a literal or metaphorical sense.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I really thought I'd understand sex better by now. After all these years of doing it and studying it and thinking about it and talking about it, I still can't regard myself as a master of the subject. The kundalini's uncanny behavior continues to surprise me, perplex me, and thrill me with ever-new revelations. Just when I imagine I've figured out how it all works, I'm delivered to some fresh mystery. How about you? Judging by the current astrological omens, I'm guessing you're due for a round of novel revelations about the nature of eros. As long as you keep an open mind, open heart, and open libido, it should all be pretty interesting.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) A few years ago, Eve Ensler took her famous play "The Vagina Monologues" to Pakistan. She and a group of local Muslim actresses wowed a crowd in Islamabad with discourses on vibrators, menstruation, and "triple orgasms." I invite and encourage you to try something equally brave in the coming weeks. Give your spiel to a new audience; take your schtick to a wild frontier; show who you really are to important people who don't know the truth yet.

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