Found-footage website Everything Is Terrible returns with a new holiday special
Tackiness trumps sentimentality in this overblown Christmas pageant
Published: December 11, 2013
Founded in 2000, Everything Is Terrible has spent 13 years playing Ahab for the benefit of eager viewers who loyally follow the site to catch every absurd clip, the most famous of which is from the instructional video, “So Your Cat Wants a Massage?” This is their third time visiting Will’s Pub, though, and perhaps the only ambition they have that supersedes their hunt for terrible videos is their drive to own every VHS copy of the Oscar-winning Jerry Maguire on the planet. So far, they have more than 6,000 copies of the tape that they encounter more than any other as they sift through thrift shops, and at each show, they demand the audience sacrifice their own copies. Each tour, they come home with somewhere between 500 and 700 additional copies for their collection.
“We know we have to save every copy of Jerry Maguire ever, and once we do that, something else will happen, and it’ll be perfect, whatever happens,” Gilgamesh says.
As for the rest of the live show, Gilgamesh explains it best: “What we’re doing on tour with the holiday special is making our version of a middle school or elementary school holiday pageant. So we took all of our skills in puppet building and set building to kind of fill what we’re pretending is our grade school auditorium with as much tacky, gross – as many Christmas lights as possible – stupid ornaments that we can fill it with.”
The loud night holds in store a special viewing of the film, a holiday pageant involving a 12-foot Santa-god hybrid and a ritual sacrifice of Jerry Maguire VHS. Their movie might not inspire the sort of Christmas cheer that we’re used to at this time of year, but it does dally in other cringe-worthy nostalgia apropos of the season. With its home-movie-style transitions and sidesplitting soundtrack, the holiday icon this approach to festivities likely aligns with most is the puffy-paint Christmas sweater your grandma wears while decking her halls.
“It’s a true sensory overload.”
P.S.: If you have bark bucks left over from the last tour, Everything Is Terrible will honor them at an improved conversion rate of two to one, meaning one bark buck is now equal to $2. Bark, bark!
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