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Drink

The Twelve Days of Holiday Drinking

A song about the real reason for the season

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The holidays are a chance to spend quality time with family and friends. They're also a time for being nice to your neighbors and leaving grandma's famous ginger snaps for Santa and the mailman. But for some, there's no better way to spend the holidays than by keeping a strong buzz on until the end of the year. With that in mind, here's a little Christmas song to help you honor the season.

The 12 Days of Holiday Drinking

On the first day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: an empty pitcher in case I'm pukey.

On the second day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.

On the third day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: three Fireball eggnogs, two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.
(The Fireball, by the way, is one of my new favorite holiday picks. Mix one part Fireball whiskey and two parts eggnog. Warm to perfection. Yum.)

On the fourth day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: four cans of beer, three Fireball eggnogs, two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.

On the fifth day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: five Brandy Birds, four cans of beer, three Fireball eggnogs, two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey. (Brandy bird: If a tall, chilled shot of Wild Turkey American Honey whiskey
and brandy doesn't strike your fancy, add a whipped cream topper and a dash of
nutmeg. It's sure to appeal.)

On the sixth day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: six Greygoose martinis, five Brandy Birds, four cans of beer, three Fireball eggnogs, two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.

On the seventh day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: seven shots of SoCo, six Greygoose martinis, five Brandy Birds, four cans of beer, three Fireball eggnogs, two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.
(SoCo may not be the most festive holiday treat, but with lime, this shot can't be beat.)

On the eighth day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: eight Maker's Mark-ing, seven shots of SoCo, six Greygoose martinis, five Brandy Birds, four cans of beer, three Fireball eggnogs, two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.

On the ninth day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: nine Lemon Drops, eight Maker's Mark-ing, 27 other drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.

On the 10th day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: 10 Long Island iced teas, nine Lemon Drops, eight Maker's Mark-ing, what was the rest, again?

On the 11th day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: 11 pints of Pabst and too many drinks to count. Has anyone seen my pitcher? I think I ditched it on Pabst number six.

On the 12th day of holiday drinking, my drunk friend sent to me: 12 Dewar's Daiquiris, 11 pints of Pabst, 10 Long
Island Iced Teas, nine Lemon Drops, eight Maker's Mark-ing, seven shots of SoCo, six Greygoose martinis, five Brandy Birds, four cans of beer, three Fireball eggnogs, two tequila drinks and a pitcher in case I'm pukey.

OK, so maybe that's not exactly how the song went. Happy holiday drinking to all, and to all a sober-free night.

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