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HAPPYTOWN

 

The spring semester at the University of Central Florida was barely underway when the Man decided to crack down on Students for a Democratic Society, a group of radicals [“Second coming,” Nov. 23] who were … trying to give away stuff on a sidewalk.

According to SDS members Eric Eingold and Pat DeCarlo, they were assembling their “free store” wares — donated CDs, clothes, vinyl, hemp bracelets — at the Student Union Jan. 10 when they were approached by two Union representatives asking them to move. Because it was cold, the SDSers had ventured a few feet out of their approved shaded area to get a little sunshine. What they got instead was nearly arrested.

A supervisor for the Union contacted campus police, who showed up four strong in two cars. A scene ensued. At issue was the fact that the so-called campus “golden rule” states the whole area is a free-speech zone, while “archaic” guidelines enforced by Student Union employees (drawn when there was still a road bordering the Union) say otherwise. The campus cops began stuffing the free crap into garbage bags, while DeCarlo and Eingold urged students to gather and witness it. Eventually, cops led Eingold to the side of a building and threatened to cuff and stuff him. He got a trespassing citation and the promise that next time, the handcuffs go on. He’ll also have to appear before the Student Conduct Review Board and face potential expulsion, suspension or academic probation. You know, for sharing stuff.

“Pat and I, I’m expecting they’re going to try to expel us,” says Eingold. “Because they’ve been trying to get rid of us since we’ve been here.”

UCF spokesperson Tom Evelyn says some of the language contained within the golden rule may be unclear, and says that the university is taking a look at it. He also states that, as a recognized student group, the SDS could have simply registered for the Union’s Wednesday Market Day, but actively refused to do so. As for the Student Conduct Review Board, he says that all factors will be taken into consideration, and promises that there will be no “overreaction.”

And now it’s time for another installment of What’s Up With Ric?™, our attempt to keep you up to date on the comings and goings of Orlando’s favorite Congressman, U.S. Rep. Ric Keller!

This week’s report finds Ric, heretofore a faithful Republican, turning into a flaming lib! First, on Jan. 10, he voted with the Democrats to raise the minimum wage. Then, the very next day, he delivered a speech on the House floor damning President Bush’s plan to send 20,000 more troops into Iraq.

“I oppose the surge,” he declared. “We don’t need more American troops caught in the crosshairs of a civil war. After nearly four years, it’s high time for the Iraqis to send in their own troops to take out the Shia militias and the Sunni insurgents.”

Whoa. Opposing Bush? A “civil war”? Why does Ric hate America?

Friends, this is not the spineless yes-man we’ve come to know and love. This is Super Ric, a pol who leaps across the aisle to get the job done; a man who speaks the truth to power, and damn the consequences. How amazing is this transformation? Compare the quote above to this one he made in June 2006: “Tonight, thousands of people in Orlando will walk into hotel lobbies without having to go through a metal detector, unlike the hotels in Amman, Jordan. Why? Because our soldiers are taking the fight to the terrorists … in the Middle East so the rest of us can live freely in the United States.”

For the record, Keller’s conversion to the dark side isn’t complete. He did vote against increasing embryonic stem-cell research.

Thanks, Ric, for jumping aboard the bandwagon!

Not-so-fun fact: The United States has at least 744,000 homeless people, and an unhealthy chunk of them fall within Florida’s borders. The Sunshine State, in fact, has the third highest population of homeless people, according to a recently released report from the National Alliance to End Homelessness. Behind only California and New York, the state had 60,867 known homeless people as of January 2005.

That’s a conservative estimate. For instance, the report counts Central Florida as having 2,631 “total homeless” people. But that number only includes the homeless people who are part of a continuum of care, or a safety-net matrix that cares for the indigent. Homeless advocates estimate that there are more than 7,000 homeless people in the region.

Other stats to chew on: 41 percent of homeless people have families; 23 percent are considered “chronically homeless,” meaning they’re not likely to get a roof over their heads any time soon; 44 percent are unsheltered.

What are we doing about it? The Alliance says the biggest problem is a lack of affordable housing, and indeed, such cities as San Francisco and Denver have made permanent housing for the homeless a top priority, with some success. Closer to home, we haven’t a clue what we’re doing, except making sure that the homeless can’t sleep under overpasses or get fed in public parks.

And that, gentle readers, is yet another example of the dearth of real leadership we suffer from daily in Central Florida. Good night, and good luck.

SEMI-REGULAR FEATURE
WHO, WHAT, HOW AND WHY:
ASK IAN THE I.T. GUY!

Dear Ian: I feel that I should anonymize, but I really don’t know what that means. Can you help?

— Anonymous

Anon: Anonymity is important these days, whether you want to keep your marijuana buys on the down low (I’m looking at you, Winter Park High art students) or you want to get around the pornography filter during study hall (I’m looking at you, Colonial High IT magnet students). Fortunately for all of us, it’s easy and cheap to be anonymous online.

First, get yourself a USB “jump drive.” They don’t cost much, maybe $20 for a gigabyte, which is more than enough. Then go download TrueCrypt (truecrypt.org) and set it up on the jump drive in “traveler disk mode.” That will make your jump drive inaccessible to anyone other than you.

Now that you’ve got some secure, portable storage, go grab TorPark (torrify.com) and put it on your newly encrypted drive. TorPark is a stripped-down version of the Firefox web browser, set up to utilize the Tor network of anonymizing proxy servers all over the world. Using TorPark from your jump drive means you’ll be able to turn any random PC into a secure, anonymous Internet terminal, and you’ll leave behind no trace of your activities after the fact, either on your machine or in the logs of the websites you visit.

So go ahead and visit Wikipedia from China, or TheHun.net from Iran. Content filters, snooping parents and despotic governments will have no way to stop you from using the Internet as God intended — freely.

askian@orlandoweekly.com

This week’s report by Jeffrey C. Billman and Billy Manes.

happytown@orlandoweekly.com

Comments on this story:


Report this comment On 1/22/2007 12:16:06 PM, ciggytoo said:

Holy Schnitzel! Finally some information more useful than the OW staff's petty-penis-problems! Master Ian, how's about telling us how to get our Google hits ranked the way we want them, so that way -- when someone googles our name -- anything we've written about donkey porn will be buried deep on pages over four, and anything we've written that would fit a potential employer's niche would show up on page one. (in other words, claimid.com instructions would be great)

Report this comment On 1/23/2007 6:26:53 AM, Dissapointed said:

Students for a Democratic Society. I felt terrible reading this article knowing that only a hand full of the readers--if incredibly that many--have the luxury and privilege of knowing the UCF branch of SDS. These people are some of the most obnoxious and belligerent post-nam era faux hippies the world has ever known (at least the area of greater Orlando). Your Article in the 1/18/07 Happy Town makes them out to be the free-thinking victims of a "Prep" controlled student union. I'm sure they are not. These people are morons in every sense of the word. I am I high school senior and I have crossed paths with SDS at UCF twice. The first at a forum attended by Ehud Barak. These warriors of knowledge showed up in force, I'd guess twenty strong, armed for battle with nothing more than some Palestinian flag T-shirts made with Crayola markers on Fruit of the Loom, and packets of Wikipedia based knowledge on their Israeli Goliath. They sat through the conference, and about thirty minutes in, they all got up and left. That was their protest, bravo. I was first shocked be the fact they came out to protest but once that had worn away, I was just confused. That was protest? What happened to daisies in rifles or jumping in front of a Commie tank? When they moved en masse they generated a wave of hemp-stink and teenage sweat that poured over the room causing convulsions in several of my friends. The next time I ran into SDS, it was at a Panera. One of their Bandana waving members was standing on a chair preaching to the room about something, it was hard to tell he was talking so loud, and shouting at everyone trying to collect there order until several bewildered employees moved them on. I wasn't there when the MAN came down on SDS that fateful day, but if they didn't deserve it I'd swallow thumb tacks. These people are the most simplistic, dirtiest, and most pathetic, run-to-Canada-to-dodge-the-draft-oh-no-wait-there-isn't-one-uhm-protesting-the-war-is-too-mainstream-uh-lets-mess-with-the-student-union-and-make-protest-signs-on-the-back-of-NIRVANA-posters-and-uh-stuff-bunch-of-fucks that I have ever seen. In closing--pity not SDS—too take a page from their book—Karma. p.s. (The tall Middle Eastern member with the bad teeth is OK, the rest of you, get lives and personalities, society has no place for your likes.)  

Report this comment On 2/1/2007 8:14:49 PM, Anonymous said:

You obviously don't know anything or anything about these people.  As someone who doesn't always agree with their radical views, I have spent time with most of them listening to what they have to say.  They are all good people who just want to be heard and make a difference!  They are also very smart!  And the free-store, which is whay Eric Eingold got the citation for, is a great thing!  We've donated a lot of stuff to the free-store and we couldn't be more greatful for the fact that the stuff that we don't use anymore will be used by someone who wants it!  Before you talk about these people, get to know them!
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